fuck this job.com

It’s been a long, strange journey since I have graced the community with my diction, so at the behest of my moral compass I am daring to delve once again into that familiar yet unsettling anecdotal terrain affectionately referred to as “bloggerland”. Not that it’s beneath me, It’s just that at times it can be a little soul-sucking knowing you are giving feeble minds verbal pornography without compensation. And while my subject material has taken different form, the venomous bile spewing from my oral orifice via digital manipulation has not lost its luster.
First, let me apologize for not gracing the community with my ever-engaging banter. As has been stated before, you need me like Bush needs his Saddam. One without the other may be seemingly dangerous, but alone they sure as shit don’t bring the high-drama we need to fuel our voyeuristic sensations. My fabled lore within the community only exists because of you, and my gratitude is sincere.

I am not going to bear the brunt of all you do-little jackass’s frustrations. Nor am I going to carry the torch for the higher collective conscience sect by constantly berating lazy asses when all the while I am at work and could exercise my down time to create more business, so I can do more work, so I can make more money, so I can further add to my lore of being the model employee that I am. My whole thesis is we create our own destiny. We make our own beds. Some like to blame others around them for their shortcomings and stagnate, some reflect inward and motivate. Tearful, you can keep crying about the serial killer who was supposed to give you head that turned in to your boss until we are all blue in the face but when you go to work the next day you know what? She is still YOUR boss.

I'm reading all these whiny rants and I'm thinking to myself, "Goddamn, I am either the ever-pressing pillar of industry I think I am or these peoples are a bunch of fucking cry babies!" Your job is what you fucking make of it. In my current employment situation I am so efficient and such an asset to my company that my balls are beyond busting. I am so valuable to my employer that I can get away with what I want, when I want within reason. What a novel concept! Do your job to your peek ability, keep the boss off your back, go home smoke your pot, drink your beer, whatever. Why, you can be just like me one day and call out FIVE (5) days in a row with, are you ready for this one, allergies! So sack up, roll up the sleeves, pull up the bootstraps, whatever corny euphemism you want to use for taking control of your employment situation.