fuck this job.com

yesterday i was cornered in my cube by the "talker", who was stalking the corridors of the floor. he does this to find a way out of actually doing work, or to not make it obvious that he really has nothing to do and is therefore expendable and should have his ass fired.

it feels like what a strip search must feel like-- you are helpless, vulnerable, "disarmed", so to speak.

he went on for close to 20 minutes.

taking an advantage of when he caught his breath, i sighed 'well, i have to go to the bathroom'.

yes! how clever of me! liberation from the talker.

...as asked on an interview.

my answer, the next time this is asked:

"the fuck out of this field of work".

ive been here in my cube (aka Hell without the fun of talking to Satan) for 1.5 hours. i may have typed one word, im not sure if i did or not.

it did occur to me that the funniest way to die would be to have a brain aneurism. i understand its quick, with little commotion.

ok, i shouldnt laugh at that. my sister's best friend died like that.

i dont usually read op-ed pieces all the way through. this one, though, i couldnt put down.

it's very funny. i dont know whether to write the guy telling him he's a lazy slob, or to congratulate him on voicing exactly what i feel in the dark recesses of my enslaved mind.

i hope you enjoy it:

http://washingtoncitypaper.com/display.php?id=34682

ok, so i dont work at the reviled K-Mart (see All-time posts). i feel for people who work in retail, and especially sorry for those at places like K-Mart.

yet the phrase had been stuck in my head for what-- like 2 years now? "this job is clown shoes".

well, MY job is clown shoes. its a dog and pony show for the client and for some local government offices.

fuck-- the phone, be right back.

it was just a phone call about more crap about parking spaces that i couldnt care less for.

even our clients are fucking clown shoe-wearing clowns. unlike normal people that send chocolate as a holiday greeting, we get hurting fish jerkey, fish crackers, tins of tuna, and someone sent middle-eastern sweets. how original, how multi-cultural of you...how nasty. not that you can eat them-- they fall apart between your fingers.

just curious. i hope im not the only one-- im up to at least 20 times a day.

thats all i have to say.

oh, and Evil Luna's titles are so damn funny. i will have to check out her recent post at a later time.

i hate my job. i guess that goes without saying.
i hate these stupid projects - who cares about some driveway in a park no one uses.

i cant believe i was dumb enough to believe this job would be "ok".

they can/should hire a college intern to do what im doing.

i fantasize about quitting, and letting the bitch project manager try to put together these drawings. when she sees the retarded sketches and data that come from our off-site engineer (who gets to work from home, one hour away, which makes my job a nightmare), she would say "ohhh, thats why he quit".

i mean, a crayon doodle would be better than the incoherent shit i get from this off-site engineer. shes a dipshit, anyway.

end of rant.

i havent posted here in a while. its because i can make myself sick when i realize i'd be bitching about the same things as back in 20 fucking 03!

anyway, i found this on a local bulletin board. its very funny, and i hope it will put a smile on your face:

THANK YOU FOR DESTROYING MY OPTIMISM.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2007-10-04, 11:35AM EDT

I worked for you.

I did your marketing, your office bitch work, and laughed at all your stupid company jokes. I was faking. I do NOT think the way your dog barks is funny. I also don't care what your kids did on your family vacation and I don't care about the random cousin you want to set me up with because he needs a "good girl" like me. Trust me, I'm not that nice or that good.

my boss was driving me and himself to some meeting for another uninteresting project.

i cant stand him for too long, especially in a car.

somehow the topic of discussion came on religion.
yes, i know - avoid like a landmine.

i said "i find religion interesting, but i dont discuss it because i find people to be bigoted and unbending in accepting someone's beliefs".

end of story? no...after some prodding by the boss as my faith system, if any, i said "catholic".

big mistake. i should have said "i worship the fallen angel lucifer", it would have been better.

what happened next was a 20 minute diatribe by the boss (as he weaved through traffic without using his turn signals-- a cause for concern and agitation on my part, since i find this annoying and rude to considerate, careful drivers). he could not cease his criticism of the catholic church for treating women as second class.

i mean, its not like im asking my co-workers rhetorical questions!

if i need to email someone in this office, im doing so because it would give them time to think about and return an answer, instead of my having to interrupt their thought process with a visit to their office.

our IT bitch-- i emailed her THREE times about a printing problem. she just ignored the emails, i guess. speak of the she-devil-- i can hear her now, over wall of my cube, gabbing away as usual. does anyone have a harpoon?

my supervisor (but not my "boss")- same thing. i know shes swamped, but if she will ignore my emails, i hope she never emails ME telling me shes been kidnapped and imprisoned in an abandoned warehouse.

...because i spent hours looking around the office for an unused telephone; the one in my cube was broken to bits after slamming it repeatedly to abruptly end conversations with your stupid clients.

...because the sports page was much better reading.

...well, when the hell CAN i surf the internet to get my christmas shopping done?

...because i hate you.

...because "fthisjob" is great reading.

...because any website is great reading.

...because all the work i DID do was undone by you, my exalted, honored, head-in-his-ass boss.

please, continue.....

finish that sentence!

i am interested in hearing how the "fthis" community completes that statement.

there are hilarously wicked people on this website.

my answer, which i should have put into action on this friday:

"sorry, I wont be at work today because...."

....you all suck.

simple questions go unanswered. emails never returned. search for information becomes a federal case with people who have never learned to think....

...its called working with government. it is the most harrowing, bumpy, aggravating experience one can have.

"F" this job, and "F" you, fairfax county.

i nominate myself:

for once again believeing the BS i heard in an interview-- "lies, lies, lies, yea";

for once again being a wimp not brave enough to take a different direction this year, when i had a chance to do so;

for assuming politeness will get me everywhere-- and again, falling into the trap of the nutso secretary (every engineering office has one) who feins sweetness and grace, but is really a bitch who tactfully avoids the work i need her to do;

for assuming the "commute will be worth it";

for basically being a "wh@re" and taking this job because the money convinced me it would be worth it;