fuck this job.com

Here's a memo my lovely bosses could send me when they're trying to come up with something to critize about me!

MEMORANDUM

TO: Our Valued Employee

FROM: Your 43 Benevolent and Caring Bosses

DATE: Today

SUBJECT: Your Complexion

It has come to our attention that last Thursday you came into work with what appeared to be an undisguised pimple on your chin.

As people who work in high-profile downtown law firms know, there are a number of over-the-counter and prescription remedies that will help both eliminate and disguise unsightly blemishes. As your bosses, may we remind you that you must take great care to ensure that your skin is smooth and flawless. We wouldn’t want anyone to get the false impression that we are anything else than 100% professional.

I work for an educational institution that trains psychoanalysts. We have 30 Faculty and 13 Candidate Students (with a Capital F and a Capital C) - all of whom have a very definite opinion about me and my job performance. So it's just like having 43 bosses!

Earlier this week, my bosstook me aside and asked me why I wear sneakers. Well, I wear sneakers because I walk about a mile (each way) to get to work every day.

Apparently the other day, I committed a cardinal sin - I wore my sneakers ALL DAY! My boss said that "a person came to him about it" and compared my office (with 1970's decor and on a good day maybe three people come in) to a downtown law firm!

I am a former employee and alumna of a pretty well known university. I loved my job when I worked there and was laid off because the grant money dried up. After getting laid off, I went from being a part-time to full-time student. Again, had a great experience there.

Fast forward 10+ years and despite every effort, applying for dozens and dozens of jobs, cashing in every chit I could call in, pulling every string I have, I've received only a handful of interviews and no offers.

Anyway, the last straw was when I had an interview with the Alumni Affairs Office (where, incidentally, virtually no alumni work) and they hired someone internally.

I work at a place with a lot of psychologists and the like. I am the executive director.

My boss is, at first blush, a sweet 70+ year old grandmotherly type. But she just does not understand why I can't be at f**king beck and call 24/7. She's called me at 6 in the morning, 11:00 p.m., and on one of the very few days I actually called off sick she called me so many times that I ended up going to work.

Now I understand that she's a therapist and she's got patients calling her at all times of the day and night. But...guess what - I'm not a f***ing therapist!

The last straw was when she called me at 11:00 p.m. on a Friday night to ask me who was taking care of breakfast at the seminar the next morning (answer - she was). Although I have asked her only to call me at home if it's an emergency (and clearly she has no idea of what that is) I told her never to call me at home again. Ever.