fuck this job.com

I only said goodbye to 3 people who worked there. Fuck the rest of them. I slipped out quietly, got in my car, and drove off into the sunset and man - it feels like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I tried keeping my business quiet, but of course - SOMEHOW, people find out. What I don't understand is how people who never gave a fuck about you at work all of a sudden get pussy-hurt when they find out you're leaving?

Whatever. Of course this one jerk I hated had to give in his 2 cents about me leaving. I stood there, listened, and kept looking at him with a poker face. As predicted, when he realized no one was laughing at his "jokes" he moved on to something (or someone) else. There's one other co-worker in my dept. whose been dealing with this kind of crap for years and he's happy that I'm leaving for my own sake. Matter of fact, me leaving has inspired him to find something better - somewhere he will be treated as a human being at least. Yeah, that's construction for you. Chock full of the most miserable motherfuckers the human species can squeeze out of it's crusty vaginal walls. These drunkard trailer trash hick scumbags don't know anything else and some of them have not done a single thing to better themselves.

I walk into work this morning (the first week of my last 2 weeks here) and hear about a sub who got drunk off some moonshine he made himself on graveyard shift last Friday night (long after when all the managers and admin have gone home).

Supposedly, he got sloshed and mouthed off to a carpenter and got two of his front teeth knocked out. The CM fired them both this morning. I hated that sub. He was a filthy decietful snake who I wouldn't even piss on if he was on fire. I hope he fucking dies and that cunt wife of his can't collect life insurance. Yeah. I hate these people that bad.

I'm handing in my 2 weeks notice tomorrow.

I got that other job I've been waiting on.

There is a God.

To those of you out there stuck and fighting the good fight day in and day out - let me tell you that there is hope. Just don't give up on yourself.

Hopefully, I've made the right move. Only time will tell.

This is more of a public, yet anonymous declaration for myself.

For the past 3 months; long, gruelling, agonizing 3 months I've been jerked around on another promising job offer with the Government. They have not said "no" yet. In fact, they've been keeping me updated about what's happening between the dept. I want to work in vs. Personnel. THREE FUCKING MONTHS just hanging onto my soul-killing job. I do need the money, but I don't need to make a million bucks a year to maintain my current lifestyle. I have "oh shit" money tucked away, so I'm actually doing alright.

If I don't get my great escape and this other gig I've been waiting on falls through (like it almost did back in late November), I'm just going to fucking quit and go back to an old job that I had. I have the cash for the 4 weeks of re-training, and with my background I can easily pick up a job and hit the ground running.

...when people know you're looking for a new job and continually (without missing a beat) say, "well, you've got a good job now, don't you?"

IF IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD, WHY WOULD I BE LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU FUCKING RETARDS!?!?

God, murder should be legal. >.<

I refuse to let a bad work situation eat me up. I find myself working even harder to enrich and better other aspects of my Life in addition to my current work situation. It's not my fault and it's not your fault you don't like what you do or are miserable at your job. There's no way of knowing what you're getting into when looking in from the outside.

All this anguish and negativity I will harness and use to make things better. I refuse to lose out on this. Call it ignorance or youth or idealism. I'm not giving up. I'll find my way through only because I seriously cannot imagine being in the same place professionally and personally forever. There's just no way it will happen; it's just one of those things that every fiber of your existence will tell you. It's almost like being in "love". You can't explain it and no one can tell you you're in "love". It's the same principle. I'm not staying in this mess and no one can tell me otherwise.

I think if I am ever to be happy with any sort of work - it's got to be out on the front line. Allow me to explain.

I am a safety engineer/manager for a very large construction company. I work with lots of tradesmen and workers who are all backed by the union. It's heavy construction...I'm talking tunnels, bridges, highways, big contracts for developing and maintaining infrastructure. The money and benefits are good. The experience has been so unique, I am seriously awed by what I've seen.

Now to anyone who reads this, you may ask me if I am stupid for not being happy with this opportunity. You may even call me an imbecile or an asshole for getting such a sought after position and not wanting really to be there. There are days when I'm down in the tunnels and the trenches with the guys who put their lives on the line. And let me tell you, spending my days with them leaves me so much more fulfilled than being up there in the office.

Does anyone else but me feel like weekends and holidays are tropical islands filled with bounties of everything that's GOOD in life floating admist a sea of chaos, turmoil, bullshit, bad vibes, and soul-sucking known as the "work week"?

Christmas went by damn fast. This week dragged, but when you hate your job and your life, the work weeks always DRAG. Now at least I'm looking forward to New Years. Another 3 days off. Another 4 day week next week. I feel as if I've swam in that work week ocean and am now seeing the shoreline to the next Paradise Island.

I'm starting to learn how to shed the work when the day is over. It largely has to do with kind of conditioning yourself to "forget" and "not give a fuck". I think this trait becomes stronger and stronger as you progress through your working life. Now, with 3 days off - I'm going to keep flying under the radar for the next 9 hours tomorrow and just get the fuck out of dodge.

It's getting closer to Friday...nice three day weekend (new asshats such as myself don't get vacation time; or else I would've taken the whole fucking week off).

Next week, I'll be handling stuff on my own. The senior guy I work with won't be there...I'm nervous about holding down such a BIG project all by my lonesome...I hope to just fly under the radar for those 8-9 hours and get the fuck out of dodge next week.

I've applied to new jobs. I KNOW I have a chance to at least score an interview. Not a day goes by where I'm saying to myself C'MON ALREADY...get me an interview, get me a way out of this place....

http://www.fastcompany.com/online/66/mylife.html

Every Friday, I try to wash away the mistake I made working a job I shouldn't have taken. I'm overwhelmed. It's a good job, but it's too much responsibility. I thought I could handle it, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe I worry too much.

Nevertheless, it's experience. I want to get out of there and I'm trying. I'm being very cautious though and that caution is taking a lot of time for anything to happen. I don't want to rush into a bad situation like I did here and now.

But Friday nights, I'm still wound up. I hang with my pals and we go out and do whatever single guys in their mid to late 20s do. Most of these guys are only OKAY with their jobs, but its tolerable. For me, I cannot stand it which is why not a day goes by my mind is constantly working towards doing just that: ESCAPING.

This is getting so much more painful by the day. I have realized that maybe changing jobs isn't the answer. I really, honestly, do not have a CLUE as to what I want to do with my life. I have no passion to pursue anything. I feel so beaten down and defeated, I just want to curl up and die.

Yet again, I feel as though I've made another mistake in choosing careers. I swear to God, my resume looks like a schizophrenic wrote it - I've done so many different things that are only remotely related.

Why does this always happen? I think the problem is with me. I think I'm seriously depressed or something. I get all excited and hyped up about new prospects only to be disappointed. I feel as though I've wasted my entire youth on what? Chasing empty promises?

2006 came and went...I can hardly believe it. So much has happened for me and to me this year I seriously feel as though I've been stretched to the limit. Next year, I just want to RELAX.

And in order to do that, I need to take back control. I feel as if everything is just spiralling out of my grasp and having a shitty work situation isn't making it any better.

I think while I try to dig myself out of the job hole, I need to pay some more attention to my personal/social life. I've been thinking, that for 40 hours during the week, I work at a place I find to be very spiritually and mentally taxing.

...and got this:

The Lost Dr. Seuss Book: I Love My Job

I love my job, I love the pay.
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss; he/she is the best.
I love his boss and all the rest.

I love my office and its location.
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray,
And the paper that piles up every day.

I love my chair in my padded cell.
There's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers.
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.

I love my computer and its software;
I hug it often though it don't care.
I love each program and every file,

...who thinks that there's NOTHING out there that would make them happy? Career/Job-wise.