fuck this job.com

Easy...just sent them into my job for a week...not even a week as I don't think they'd last..more like a day! I swear to God this place is the most brutal experience I have ever had in all my life! I'm here 6 weeks but it's as if time doesn't exist here, I have no life outside of work because I simply cannot enjoy anything anymore knowing that I've to come into this fuckhole every single day. A week seems like an eternity! A day seems like a month! The company's horrible & boring, the people are completely uninteresting & apparently have no lives whatsoever and my work (when I'm actually given anything to do that is) is repetitive & nauseating!

Okay this is my third week at this new Accounts job and this is the third day I have called in sick so far! I know that's extremely bad on my part, but I wake up in the morning and I would give absolutely anything not to go in there! It's like a nightmare! I barely have anything to do there and am stuck in a stuffy horrible office all day with an accountant who constantly talks to himself. Everybody else there (or most anyway) are middle aged (I'm 24) and just NOT my type of people.

I overheard the accountant speaking to somebody the other day (a personal phonecall that I'm sure I'm NOT allowed to make so why should he?!) where he stated that some days he doesn't leave the place til 9pm. 9PM!!!! Fuck that! Hello, I have some sort of a social life. I work there 9-5:30 Mon-Fri and even that's too much for me. I was genuinely sick last week, the weather here has been terrible and my car's not up and running yet so I've been walking in the pissing rain. So naturally I caught some sort of virus that I still have so I went to the doctor, paid €100 for a visit and medication and gave those fuckers at my new job the note. Get this, I did not get paid for my sick days despite having a note AND that accountant fuckhead had the balls to hand me a cheque for the 3 remaining days I did work Friday afternoon that I couldn't cash. No not only did I not have any money for the weekend but I had an incashible cheque, he might as well have handed me toilet paper!

As I've previously commented last on another entry, I accepted the position I was offered and I am now the world's biggest DUMBASS!!! Oh my god what have I got myself into! It's day 3 here and I fucking can't stand it already! I miss the guys from my previous job like hell 'cause I got on so much with them and was even almost reduced to tears the first 2 days here because I was so bloody miserable!

My previous boss asked me last Friday to stay on another week. I called this asshole company that I'm with now and asked them if I could start a week later, they said no (cunts!). So now basically I'm forced into this asshole boring accountancy job that I cannot fucking stand. I thought it would be different, but I do NOT like the work, do NOT like the environment, the company and the boring ass people can go to hell. There's nothing challenging about this place or my job. I'm stuck in a stuffy shitty old fashioned office all day with a boring ass accountant who barely speaks and whom I've no interest in speaking with anyway!

..and nobody seems to care. It's just like, business as usual. Hello, I'm leaving fuckers and you'll never ever see me again. Thanks for the appreciation of all my fucking hard work and bailing my boss out of so much shit. Plus the guys were supposed to organise a night out for us when I was leaving and...nothing! It's like nobody really gave a shit about me from day one! And I'm the one who's actually sad about leaving!

Well I've already accepted because you know you can't really decline another job offer (esp when you're desperatley in need of one) when you're face to face with the guy offering you the job. I dunno, I'm just extremely confused and my mind is all over the place. I should be in a "this is your brain on drugs" advert except I'm not bloody on anything!

After botching up that interview at 07:45 Monday morning I had another callback with a Hydraulics company that afternoon in which I was offered a job and also in the process discovered that my first boss all along was actually giving me a bad reference! Well to be more specific he stated to the guy over the phone that I was well able to do the job but was missing a lot. This fucking PRICK neglected to mention that I took time off because of my grandmother contracting & dying after just 3 months of cancer over 2 years ago and even further failed to mention that I had left in the end because of sexual harrassment on his part.

Oh god, that went SO badly! I had a second interview this morning at 07:45 before I started my own job at 08:30 and it went SO terrible. I dunno if it was because I had a bad weekend or that my confidence level and self esteem at this point are so fucking low! I just feel at the moment that everything I do is for other people and moreover that I hate other people. A few months ago I loved people and working, now I just wanna crawl up and die. And if I do so poorly in interviews I have only myself to blame!

The first interview with the fuckers went very well on Friday evening, probably because there was only one fucker interviewing me.

I have a feeling that when I do get my new job, I'm going to purposely lose it just to sabotage myself because I'm currently miserable. I feel like I have to practically sell my soul in interviews to be even considered for anything and it's just too much! I don't want a job that badly. It's terrible that I have to get a new job that I probably won't like just to pay for a life that will probably suck anyway because I hate my job. At least here I get along with some people really well and can confide in them even.

On a more torturous note, old hag has moved my downstairs desk and all my stuff into her office so that's where I now currently reside. Stuck in here with her leering over my shoulder, it's just not comfortable! And I've noticed another thing aswell, she seems to make a big deal when something needs to be done, but what does she do rather than do it immediately herself? Get me to do it instead and then take all the fucking credit for it! I prepared invoices for my boss which needed to be paid and wrote clearer sums and details on postits attached to them, what does she do? My boss walked in yesterday and she told him she dug out the invoices for him to look at and prior to this had torn off my bloody postits so once again making it look like I did nothing and she does everything. I'm so sick of it!

So I brought up some cheques this morning to my boss for him to sign and he asked me how the jobhunt was going. I said fine and that I had a trial for a Property Management company after I finished up here. He then started giving me all this advice and complimenting me and I was like WTF?! He said that I shouldn't rush into accepting any job, that he isn't kicking me out the door and that I should definatley ask for more money than what I'm currently earning here as according to him "I'm worth it". Talk about confusing someone! The he asked when I might be leaving and I said Monday week to which he responded with asking me to stay on another week after that because he will be interviewing people all next week. He also said that the job advert went in the newspaper today and he wasn't lying...it's not MY position he's interviewing people for! It's for a new management position. So now I sorta feel guilty for hating him given all the nice things he said and on an even more plus note I was talking to the engineers this morning who reckons he should fire his girlfriend instead and keep me on...awwww!!!

meaning that because of my present situation I'm fairing really shittily at interviews! I dunno I think my confidence or self esteem must have been knocked around a bit because I'm certainly not the same person I was a few months ago when I first started here at this hellhole. I was full of life (and talk), I had plans for the future, I cared how I looked and felt and I cared about my work. Now it's like...bleh! That's the only word I can use to describe it, really. I feel liked I've just been used and am especially pissed having been an asset to this shitty ass company. Before, all of my spare time was consumed well. Now, all I seem to want to do is moan about how crap my life is, drink and fall asleep only to wake up to this crap cycle all over again. My spark is gone and I want it back!

I really don't want to leave my current job...I have so much freedom to do things my way (well at least when I'm the only one here) and I do my job really well. The service engineers were in the office this morning and I get along so well with them that it's making me depressed. From my short experience in the workforce it's so hard to actually find people you like and also work with. Plus, I prefer working with guys over girls anyway, too much bitchiness and backstabbing going on. Even though I feel like the thing my boss is with secretly doesn't like me and I have no idea why. Yesterday my boss left before lunch and handed me almost 100 work sheets to be invoiced and sent out in the post the same day. Like hello, am I wonder woman or something. I'm constantly multi-tasking all day long to ensure everything goes right and rescue my bosses ass once again. Then he called yesterday afternoon (from an airport judging by the background noise) asking me to read and spell word for word his travel itinerary from his emails. Like hello, if you were going to Rome with your too old for you girlfriend wouldn't you kinda print that out beforehand. God! Then he anounced he wouldn't be back until next Wednesday and diverted HIS mobile to the office phone so now I have to deal with all his shit on top of everything else.

I'm sorry but I just can't be fucking bothered doing my job here anymore! Hello, I'm going (have to leave because a shitty manager is coming in) in 4-6 weeks anyway but it is just increasingly depressing the life out of me to stay until then. And some slick 30 something accountant type guy walked in yesterday afternoon so I've come to the conclusion that the fucker was telling the truth about hiring a more experienced manager to run the company for him because he's so incapable and all.

At the moment, I just can't cope with all this interview bullshit!!! It is such an inconvenient unecessary pile of crap!!! I mean why drag someone halfway across the bloody city and have them running around like a rat in a sewer to hurry back to their current job when you're just going to sit there and judge them and worse their job performance based on 10 minutes of rubbish talk and stupid fucking questions! And what's even more shit are the recruitment agencies/consultants who drag you into their crappy offices, make you wait, fill out a ridiculous questionaire even though you've already provided the fuckers with your CV/Resume just for a pre-screening to see if they'll consider you for an overly picky company. Oh fuck off!

Ok that's it...I'm through being upset over that stupid ass midget boss of mine! Now I'm just extremly fucking angry! I took yesterday off to attend interviews, one of which was for a job which I had been practically offered in the past but refused it because of this shithole I'm currently in. That fucking permed head asswipe had the cheek to give out to me this morning over taking yesterday off. I'm sorry fuckhead but what kind of committment or loyalty do I owe you now that you have made my job vanish?! Absolutely none! He was going on then about how "fair" he had been by giving me 4-6 weeks, I mean wtf?!! Does he honestly think he's doing me some kind of favour by letting me work here for up to 6 more weeks when I could spend that time looking for a decent job or even in a decent job. Assipe!!! He is the one afterall that has inconvenienced me by me wasting the last 4 months of my life at this hellhole while working my ass off and doing absolutely nothing wrong! So on what fucking planet is it FAIR to tell somebody who is just settling in that they have to go and thinks it's okay then to do so because he is giving them 4-6 weeks to find a new job? NO that's NOT FAIR! That's RETARDED!!! Idiot!

I swear that's how I feel, like the entire time I have spent at this shithole has been for absolutely nothing. I haven't learned all that much, I've been intimidate, I ultimately haven't been given a chance to prove myself although lord knows I've tried. I've been expected to posess some form of psychic powers which enable me to automatically know absolutely everything instead of actually taking the time to learn, however short a time it may be. Instead my work has been passed to a wrinkly completely dilusional wannabe snob who coincidentally is shagging my short fat poodle haired boss who grunts instead of talking most of the time. And these kind of personal insults coming from me isn't normal because I always see the best in people due to my happy go lucky nature no matter what shit is thrown at me. But now I just feel extremely used and a mixture of upset and anger.

...that's what I've just been told by my boss. I started working here since the start of last October and gave up another job to be here only to almost 5 months later have my spirit crushed. Yeah I wasn't totally satisfied with this job and have had my complaints in the past but at least it was an option for me to be here every single day. I swear it is taking every ounce of energy I have at the moment for me not to burst into tears! Although I most likely will once I get out of here in about 10 minutes!

Yeah sure I net surfed a lot and made sneaky phonecalls, but who doesn't?! I also work my ass off and endure the stress of the entire company as I am the only person in the office 99% of the time! And that's why my position is no longer available. Because my fucking boss can't do his job and be a boss! Can you imagine that? I lose my job because he has to HIRE somebody else to come in and run the entire company for him and said that I didn't have the experience to. I have had to sort out the previous bitch who worked here's mess since I arrived, trained myself in, taught myself everything about the company since October, constantly satisfy irate callers who complain because the business just isn't very efficient and would have been even less so had I not been here to constantly try and sort it out. I mean do you think he just wants to hire somebody else and doesn't like me. I did go mad at the office xmas party and ended up in the hotel room the company paid for with two of the service engineers, but despite what the office thinks nothing happened! I'm just sociable. He said he thinks I'm a lovely girl and do my job well but I don't know I am begining not to trust what anybody says anymore because most people are all about self gain...

I dunno, this is my fourth month here and for me usually it's hard to get past the three month mark because that's usually when I start to become extremely bored and want to move on. But I'm in extreme financial difficulties due to travelling earlier on this year and now I feel like I'm paying in misery. Maybe and hopefully this entry will make me feel a bit better about things and get me motivated.

Okay so I've tried and tried. I have been enthusiastic from the start but then because I had received no training whatsoever and my boos barely communicates with me on a daily basis I have resorted to net surfing a lot which is slowing down my brain and making me a million times worse. Because of the poor communication and the fact that my boos intimidates or even at times frightens me, I seem to compensate for this by getting along really well with our service guys who are generally in and out of the office at all times. Come office xmas party which seen me getting along a bit too well with one of them which now leads to awkwardness in the office and some sort of division between myself and the guys I used to oh so famously get along with.