fuck this job.com

Today was filled with Wifey doling out medicinal advice. I mean why not? When I think of someone to get advice from, my first thought is a woman who takes a handful of vitamins 4 times a day. So I nod my head to make it look like i was engaged in the convo, when really i was wishing she would just shut up.

Wishes don’t come true in our law firm, as Wifey keeps saying the internist helped her with a problem she, “really couldn’t get into.” I continue my new vow of silence, hoping she would just give up. Wifey continues her speech on this “problem,” which she says in a whisper. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out this is a personal issue and I do not want to hear it.

The dress code in my office is pretty lax. The assistants and admin people are allowed to wear jeans as long as they look decently professional.
And then there's Wifey. She has shown off a belt costing more than a few of my month's pay, because it’s made by whatever designer. Her jewelry weighs down her skeletal body. Earrings pull down her poor earlobes in what should be a form of medieval torture. Misplaced necklaces leave implants. Waiting for her to show up is like walking into a modern day freak show.
There is nothing better than her white Capri pants. Nothing. Imagine, if you will, and elderly woman (late 60's) who is a walking, cosmetically enhanced, skeleton. The Capri pants land a few inches below her knee, showing a fair amount of shin. If this isn’t alluring enough, there’s the actual pants themselves. The material is a thin, white material, stretched over her being. However, you don'’t realize they are white until you look at the hem, where the material is actually white. That is when it dawns on you —they're see through. You are looking through the pants of a senior citizen. Your stomach boils, but that isn’t the end of the pain. For some reason, Wifey feels the need to bend over, constantly, ONLY when wearing these pants. You take note of the VPL (Visible Panty Line, for those of you not in the know). You want to be sick, but you realize it's probably for the best because seeing a thong in this scenario would be far more traumatizing.

When I found this website it was a relief to know that now I had a place to vent my anger and frustration from my job. The work itself is not difficult, and most of the people who I work with are friendly and a general pleasure to be around. However, one person in the office has managed to virtually destroy my will to live.
Just to rewind for a moment, I work at a law firm as an administrative assistant. I quit my old job doing retail to get a job that was more professional. Choosing this specific law firm to work at probably was one of the worst choices I’ve ever made. To top it off, I’m in college and am dependent on my income to continue my education.