fuck this job.com

It's been a long, long time.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm a cashier from Georgia.

For those of you who do know me... hi. I'm a degree holder as of December, and the job hunt is ongoing.

As it turns out, the "do not use these phrases" rants are my favorite type to write... probably because "these phrases" are my greatest source of frustration... so I'm going to ease back into the blogging swing by dedicating an entire post to "those phrases" which you should never, ever use in the grocery store.
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1. "You look bored. Let me give you something to do."
Obviously, this is used by a customer who has caught me with an empty line, staring off yearnfully into the deep void of empty space. In response, I say to you: "You look like an ignorant dipshit, but you don't need me to educate you any more than I need you to give me something to do."

2. "What'cha know good?"
I know that your grammar sucks. Move along.

3. "It's so pretty outside today!"
It sure is! You know, I had a really hard time deciding whether I was going to spend the day frolicking through the fucking pansies or making rent. Thanks for rubbing it in, dickweed. I hope a tree branch overweighs itself with beautiful spring blossoms and crushes your empty skull.

(Actually, I hate spring and summer... but I can imagine myself being bitter if I didn't, so fuck you.)

4. "Have a nice weekend!"
Have a fatal accident! Weekends don't mean anything but more work to cashiers... I don't give a shit that you were "just being nice." Think about what you're saying, for fuck's sake. It's called "being considerate," and it's better than "being nice."

5. "Do I get the cigarettes out of the case, or do you?"
If you think you can break that big fucking padlock with your bare fucking hands, then be my fucking guest. Otherwise, it looks like maybe you need me to get them, hmm?

6. "Did you scan these coupons yet?"
The ones that you just pulled out of your pocket? Yes. I have definitely already scanned those coupons. I called up your people late last week to find out what sort of coupons you'd be using today, then I went ahead and cut them out of my own newspaper and scanned them yesterday after my break. We are good to go.
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Alright, then... instances of the word "fuck" present in this post... six. Make that seven. Looks like I'm ready to roll again.
Until next time, comrades... and I mean that in the least communist way possible, 'cause capitalism pays the bills. Over.