fuck this job.com

Okay….check this out. I am so mean, but this worked.

My stupidvisor called me and informed me he was going to come to my office for a meeting. We talked about the time, and about how long it would last, etc. So, since he’s driving for 30 minutes, he calls me when he’s halfway here to be sure I am going to be there. I say yes, then I spring into action.

What do I do, you might ask? Here it is in a nutshell:

I print up a quote that says “No man is a leader until his appointment is ratified in the hearts and minds of his men”, then taped it up in a conspicuous place so when he talked to me, he could easily see the sign.

After this, I switched chairs. I found the most uncomfortable chairs, and put one—and only one—in my office for my stupidvisor to sit upon.

Out of my office window, I can see when people drive up, so when he approached, I told the secretary to ask my stupidvisor to wait for me in my office, as I attended to “other matters”—(taking a big, fat dump).
I knew I had him. It would show weakness on his part if he either a) switched out chairs for another, more comfortable one, b) sit in my chair , knowing that I would sit in the other chair and not mind, or 3) ask me for another chair, which would outwardly express his level of weakness. Did I mention I closed the A/C vent in my office, and it’s routinely 90+ degrees outside? The meeting was in the morning, so I left my east-facing shades open.

10 minutes (and -2 pounds) later, we had the meeting. I noticed that he had moved a more comfortable chair in, was reading “The Rogue Warrior’s Ten Commandments” which I have up under the above saying, and was complaining about it being hot in there. Did I mention the meeting was in the morning? Good…..his chair faced east, so he had the glaring Texas sun in his face.

I was sweating, but acted as if the heat didn’t bother me one bit. I sat there, sweat dripping down my face and chest, answering pleasantly and not wiping the sweat out of my eyes, or giving any other sign I was miserable. He, however, was wiping the sweat off his face constantly, had to leave to get cool and get a paper towel or two, and kept asking what was wrong with the A/C in my office. I told him I was fine, and looked at him like he just spoke in Russian to me.

The meeting lasted all of about 20 minutes, with him telling me to do things I have already done, and me showing him the paperwork for these projects. To make matters worse (for him), he tried have me call some clients and tell them blatantly false info., which is against our company guidelines. I showed him the guidelines, hinting that before I would tell the client that, I would have to contact our regional manager. He dropped the issue, and told me to forget it and he would take care of it. (The regional manager got a nice email about this, in case she wanted to know.)

Needless to say, it was unproductive meeting for him. Minutes of our meeting and copies of the paperwork found its way into our immediate boss’s hands. I came out smelling like a rose, and proved that the Peter Principle is alive and well….and that he won’t be coming for a face to face again.