fuck this job.com

Well, I had me interview today with Possibility #1. Everything went well. Fantastic weather so my hair wasn't mussed, the interview went great, they seemed really interested in me, etc etc. Trouble is, I'm now hoping they don't offer it to me... because I am going to have to decline.

Why? Not because of the people. They seemed nice and on the ball. They even expressed an interest in learning the latest technology, which is the exact opposite of the people I currently work with who can't be bothered with learning anything new but leave it all to me. Maybe not even because of the work, although it would be a shock to go back to regular administrative type scutwork.

It's just... basically a combination of things. First of all: their office space is absolutely horrific. When I walked into the lobby (such as there is in a dark, cinderblock basement), my heart sank. And it only got worse from there. The worst I've ever seen here at the company, and I thought I'd seen it all. I should have been prepared when one of the interview questions was what I hoped for in terms of physical space.

I am getting angry just thinking about it, mainly because I feel actually sorry for the people in this department, considering the hectic and important work they do. What in the HELL is wrong with the upper management in this company that they allow their most important workers and planners to languish in these conditions? No windows, nightmarish fluorescent lighting, offices that double as kitchens... It is so fucking amazing the equation in our company, that the harder your job is, the more they demand from you, the less space they give you to do it.

However, that's not the main reason (although it was a big negative). I did really well on this interview and asked them questions about the job (like you're supposed to) and I got the distinct sense that these people were being asked to do WAY too much by the new CEO and they didn't know where the next mandate was going to come from. I got confused at some of their answers because they seemed to be about to take on work that didn't seem to have anything to do with the very clear mission of their department (one of the reasons I was attracted to the job, was that they had a particular function to perform).

Lastly, I just don't think they could offer me quite enough money to lure me from my extremely shitty, albeit well-paying job. I had doubts that they could before, but now I really doubt it. I went into the interview feeling hopeful that I would like the people enough to want to switch gears and maybe even take a pay cut. From what I could tell, the people were engaged and goal-minded, which is what I was hoping for, but the physical surroundings were so awful that I just am sort of hoping they don't want me, so I don't have to decline an offer.

Unfortunately, I think I did really well on this and said everything they wanted to hear. So basically I had the best interview of my life for a job I just don't feel enthusiastic for. Even worse... tomorrow I have to go back to my fucking shitty job!!!

I am about to enter full-blown midlife crisis mode. I'm racking my brains trying to think about how I can survive another six months here. Hoping against hope that the dept. will finally be reorganized and maybe they will split us up and I won't have to work for the technophobes any more.

My life sucks.