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Sigh.

Well, don't kill me everyone (after my last few months of bitching), but I was offered the job today that I interviewed for earlier in the week, and I declined as gracefully as I could. I have mixed feelings, and am disappointed at how things wound up, but I also think I made the right decision. If you are going to go down in pay, it absolutely has to be the right job and you have to feel completely good about it... I just didn't quite.

Throughout my working career, I have always gone job-hunting when I am at my wits' end. And naturally have taken the first thing offered. Now that I am older, I have to stop doing this and get much more serious about what I want to be when I grow up... which is... very daunting to think about. I am one of those people they call "renaissance souls" (a fancy term for "shiftless loser with way too many interests") and my problem is that I get bored with something almost as soon as I start it, which makes going back to school for a master's seem like a dead-end proposition. I simply cannot afford to spend time and money on another degree if I know I will lose interest before I complete it.

So, for the time being, I am falling back to a new plan: somehow endure the next 6 months of agony (and hope things get slightly less dysfunctional when/if they hire the new division head), and then plan on doing a serious new job search for the summer, which is our slow period. Everything has to be on the table, including leaving the company. So, I guess I have to start planning everything NOW. It's very hard to go job-hunting at Christmas time, and I forgot how long it takes to get the wheels in motion... it takes 6 to 8 weeks for a position to get filled around here.

So the bad news is, I had to disappoint someone today (and she sounded disappointed)... the good news is, they liked me and don't think I'm an old hag, and I must have gotten good reviews from my references... the bad news is, I have to go back to my crappy job (after the deceptive holiday lull)... the good news is... I WILL STILL BE HANGING OUT HERE EVERY WEEK!!! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, fellow job victims!!!

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renaissance soul
Submitted by jas22 on Fri, 12/16/2005 - 21:45.

thanks, gloooom-- i think i can consider MYSELF a renaissance soul as well. i never could find the way to describe being interested in everything and really accomplishing NOTHING.

and yes, i have the same issues w/ grad school-- that fear of getting half way through and saying "oh my God, this sucks so bad...".

maybe theres some type of medication that can help people with that personality type?

im sorry you declined the job-- a better one is out there, that will suit your areas of interest (all 1,000 of them!), where you can thrive.

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thanks
Submitted by gloooom on Sat, 12/17/2005 - 00:11.

Right now I am considering three exciting career options: 1) bag lady, 2) nun, or 3) freedom fighter.

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me too
Submitted by whattda on Sat, 12/17/2005 - 15:34.

gloooom, you sound exactly like me.
I still say there is hope for us yet!

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You're so right...
Submitted by Evil_luna on Sat, 12/17/2005 - 18:19.

What you have just said is absolutely right and I'm suprised I have never realised it myself sooner.

I feel the same way, except I haven't got and can't afford to do a degree. And I haven't had n interview. But I get bored so easily with anything I do hence the reason I have had so many jobs in the last 10 years. I seem to have stuck at this one for so long because it's so easy. I have applied for many, many jobs over the months and I never even get to interview stage. At one point I swear the postman was in on it and throwing my shit away before it even got there! It's so disheartening when you're so desperate for a way out, and when you know you can do the job you have applied for and dont get anywhere it starts to piss you off.

I have one week left in work and then I'm off until new year. And by christ when the new year comes round I will be applying for every single fucking job I can find.

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