fuck this job.com

Hi it's me, gloooom. I was on my first vacation in more than eight months but now I'm back. I went to work in an OK mood this morning but by the end of the day I was on the verge of tears at work yet again because of the crappy work I do where I have no technical support and can't figure out what the damn program is doing wrong. And I am no slouch at kicking the tires on stuff, but this is just ridiculous. Trying to send the same e-mail 6 times at the end of the day. 11 glorious restful days off and I come back and by the end of the day I'm just as stressed as I was before I left.

Just to be clear, the ONLY reason I was able to take vacation at all, is because the company practically shuts down between Christmas and New Year's. It's not like my workload has changed. I probably won't have another opportunity to take a single day off until summer.

Silly me... on the day before I was to leave on vacation, I admit I was on Cloud 9. I had put in for the time off weeks before. I then found out that one of the people who was supposed to be there to do some of my work, had decided to take that week off too... and NEVER INFORMED ME. I actually started to hyperventilate at my desk, I was so upset. It was HIS responsibility to check with me - since he's the one technically in charge of the task anyway! You know, la de da, must be nice to be able to just decide to take time off whenever you want and not tell anybody.

Plan B (Plan A was getting another job) is up next... I called a meeting with my supervisor and a few other people about all the various projects which 50,000 people in our company see every day of the week and that apparently only I (among those in our dept) give a shit about whether it looks good or actually functions. My supervisor is acting like she called the meeting but no, I'm the one. Whatever works. Now I'm worried I'm going to lose it in this meeting. I don't really know what to say that would sound firm yet politely constructive. How about... GET OFF YOUR DEAD ASSES and GET ME MY SOFTWARE NOW? or... HOW ABOUT YOU GUYS BUY A CLUE AND ENTER THE MODERN AGE? or... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS GONNA DO WHEN WE FINALLY GET OUR NEW DIVISION HEAD AND HE WANTS RESULTS??

I dunno... too off-putting? How do you talk to co-workers and enlighten them about the day to day realities of how the rest of the company sees their work? How do you suggest to them that maybe just maybe there needs to be a formal system of training and management so that things actually get done when they need to get done? How do you suggest -- in a constructive way -- for them to pull their heads out of their asses?

I don't even know where to begin. Whatever I say is going to meet with resistance and people I work with will no doubt be pissed off at me. I would just like to try to have some semblance of being constructive.

I figure I have to at least try this. If it doesn't work, then it's time to leave the company... after 16 yrs.