fuck this job.com

My sister has been trying to persuade me to become her nanny for a while. She’s due in the summer and wants me to give her an answer in a couple of months so she can make other plans if I can’t do it. The most recent e mail conversation went something like:
“Sorry our conversation was brief, I’m just worried, you seem lost etc etc., I don’t want to influence your decision. You shouldn’t choose taking care of the baby over your marriage etc etc.” I replied and said “Look, all I want is a simple life. Don’t need a fabulous job, expensive things blah blah blah. Maybe part of my problem is my world view. I feel like I’m coming out of the closet by saying this but: I think I’m a primitivist.” She writes back,. “Primitivist, socialist, minimalist, you’ve had too much time on your hands to think. All I know is that when I used to analyze everything from outside, waiting for things to happen, I was not happy.” She says that her and her husband don’t work hard just in order to live an extravagant lifestyle, “it just makes life easier.” They both have large salaries and wish to keep it this way.
She wants to go back to work after her maternity leave runs out. She’s prepared to spend a portion of her salary to have me take care of the child, plus there is the fact that her therapist predicted that she would inevitably channel her incessant planning through her kids. My sister is very goal-oriented, ambitious and can be a bit of a hard ass. This is the history between us, I’ll try to be brief:
She stayed here in America for college when my Mom moved my brother and I to England, I was 12. We haven’t lived together since then, with one exception, we only saw each other briefly during some holidays and didn’t always get along during those times.
After I finished college she wrote me a letter about how I didn’t have enough goals set for myself and she feared me becoming ‘white trash.’ Yeah, that hurt. But a few years earlier I had called her a pretentious bitch, partly due to a fake English accent that got on my nerves since she’d never spent more than a couple of months there, among other things. She said, “you never really worked through college except summers and your tuition was free.” Tuition is free for most British students and I had done my ‘A’ levels to get there, and most people don’t hold down jobs in England while at uni. I tried work in two different restaurants at the time but it just didn’t fit, and I worked in a factory during my Christmas and Summer breaks. One Easter I stayed at uni and filed books in the library. (Oh, and one summer I lived with her and had two jobs. And that’s the time when she had me help her clean a new apartment that needed a lot of renovation. I still have a scar on my middle finger from scrubbing the walls so hard through plastic gloves. And she said that I didn’t help enough!) I don’t know if she just resented me for being the one who was young enough to have gone through their education system, like maybe she felt left behind here in this country when we moved. At the end of the letter she told me not to contact her until I sorted my life out. I wasn’t aware there was anything wrong with it. So I never called her. As soon as I got a job with an airline she called me. I guess I was worth talking to by then (oh I don’t know, maybe I could get her a ticket or something).
Years have passed since then and she’s become a little less critical. The thing is, even though she said that the purpose of her harsh letter was to be helpful (according to her that’s her job as the eldest and it was out of love) at the time I felt like we were strangers and she really didn’t have the right. I’ve never felt the need to interfere in her life, as long as she’s happy, then I’m happy for her. The only knowledge she had about my life was second hand at the time. When I told one of my old uni friends about it her words were, “I don’t know why your sister is so critical of you, you’ve only ever sung her praises.” That was true, except for the pretentious bitch comment which I blurted out when she really pissed me off.
I am considering her proposal. I know she can’t do the stay at home Mom thing and there is no one else who would be better. I feel that many families are not as connected in this day and age and this would hopefully bring us closer together. I had an Aunt who spent a lot of time with me and she was like a touchstone. I am not headed down any shining career path at the moment and wouldn’t be giving up anything major. I imagine my husband being happier there. He wouldn’t be leaving a fabulous job, he drives a cab and can’t wait till it’s time to move on. It might take him a while to warm up to my sister though. I was thinking that in a year I could take my vacation in the same State. There’s a program at a native community where you spend a week or two learning sustainable living, you work for food and lodging and come away with some useful knowledge. My sister can be a snob, and I can be an inverted snob but I’m thinking we can meet in the middle, or better yet on higher ground. Nobody’s perfect. Maybe we could learn something from one another. My mom is coming close to retirement and would consider living there as well. We’ve all been spread about for some time. A psychic told me once, “Your sister is the type to have 14 slaves, and you will be one of them.” We’ve been laughing about it for a few years. I’m not getting any younger, and am starting to wonder if it’s time to break down the walls and make an effort to be with family, instead of knowing them from a distance. Time to stop wandering around like a ghost and establish some roots? On the other hand I’m afraid of conflict cause I’m over sensitive and she can be confrontational. I have visions of getting upset and leaving, walking off into the sunset with a stick in my hand that has a pillowcase tied to the end of it, while she watches me vanish into the distance from the rear view mirror of her BMW. It amazes me how different we are sometimes. Got any friendly advice?

Oh. This is for theshitmagnet: Shitmagnet, don’t even think about a response, you stay comfortable in your limo and leave me be. I don’t think you’re interested in being anything but a nuisance.