The suddenly sensitive bully

So we have this Crazy (thats a capital C people) Bitch that is in charge of our department at my school. It is important to note that she has NO control or superiority over us, she is only in charge of the paperwork.
She is a bully by definition. She has only messed with me once, and I told the bitch off...up one side and down the other. When I was finished SHE acted like the "Victim."
Well, a few other teachers were having problems with her, and they asked if I could sit in on a meeting with all of them, sort of as a witness. The bitch is so Crazy that you have to have a witness go with you in order to talk to her. Anyway,I agreed....planning to keep my mouth shut the whole time.
About halfway through the meeting, after I could not take her verbal abuse of my fellow teachers anymore, I spoke up.
I basically told the bitch off again, for about 5 minutes...I didn't yell once, just stated the facts. Then she starts to cry, saying that she doesn't know why I hate her, and why I always bring up all of these bad things about her, and why I make her feel like such a terrible person. I guess what I am wondering is...does anyone else have someone like this in their office, school, etc. Why is she playing the victim when she is the one starting all of the shit?
AHHHH this Bitch is soooooo frustrating.


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Submitted by darthsidious on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 01:38.

"saying that she doesn't know why I hate her, and why I always bring up all of these bad things about her, and why I make her feel like such a terrible person."

She could be projecting on to you.

"Why is she playing the victim when she is the one starting all of the shit?"

A manipulative game. Typically, the game player will so "something" and when called out on it, will claim they either didn't mean it or were just kidding, or claim it was a misunderstanding, or something.

The telltale sign is whether they are willing to concede that their behavior contributed in some way to the problems. It's been my experience that the game player will not show any real introspection with respect to their behavior.

Submitted by madashell on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 02:49.

I think most of us have probably dealt with a person like this, male or female. It's like they refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. They just don't understand "what they've done" and try to get others to feel sorry for them. I call it emotional blackmail; and I never buy into it.

Typically these people know exactly what they are doing. Darthsidious hit the nail on the head by calling her a player. Perfect description.

Stick to your guns...She just wants you to apologise and take all the heat...

Submitted by Bent on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 03:13.

That is textbook behaviour for disfuntionals, domineering borderline disfuntional bullies of all stripes will eventually resort to this behaviour as a last resort when absolutely cornered.
Also known as crocodile tears. Don't buy it for a second. It's not normal behaviour for a normal adult to break down and cry in a meeting where things are being discussed rationally if somewhat heatedly, even if it is critical of them. Think about it. Would you or I do that? No.
Never soften to this ploy, I've been there it is a trap.

Submitted by sandwichnazi on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 13:21.

Offer her/him that box of tissues and continue on with what you have to say. Offer no sympathy, be as indifferent as possible and patient(poker face). It is a play on manipulation, just as the tears started, they will end. Ask pointed questions lol.

sandwichnazi

Submitted by joeblow on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 21:08.

People like that are very emotionally unstable, and probably have low self esteem. I'd offer to make up, take her to a bar, then hump her. Shoot. Take advantage of the situation.

By the way, girls with low self esteem do whatever you tell em.

Submitted by madashell on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 23:21.

"By the way, girls with low self esteem do whatever you tell em."

What is that? What a chauvanistic thing to say, you really are a southern boy! How would you like it if I said "Ugly or married men will buy you things"? (And I've never met a married man who didn't come on to me, gee, my low self esteem must be showing). I'm sorry, but that was a very insulting thing to say....

Submitted by darthsidious on Wed, 02/08/2006 - 23:12.

Since this behavior happened in front of a witness, you can legitimately point out to everyone that they just aren't "tough enough" or "they can't take the heat" and if they "don't get out of the kitchen, then maybe someone should remove them".

Generally speaking: When people loose control at work, they CLEARLY cannot control their emotions and so show to everyone how unstable they are and so...they are essentially untrustworthy and ultimately unpromotable. If your company is PC enough, you could obliquely bring up the fact that that behavior could be construed as establishing a hostile work environment.