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Problems and Solutions for the Retard

A bunch of us went out to lunch this week after enduring another day of "I want my cruise in 2007" and "I want Louis Vitton" crazy shit. We brainstormed some solutions to our problem.

Problem: When she's on the rag she stinks like a used maxi pad.
Solution: One of the gals will leave her a bottle of douche on her desk. Ten dollars says she tries to drink it.

Problem: She babbles about shit constantly.
Solution: This week at lunch a bunch of us decided to increase her vocabulary. Soon we'll have her saying "cunt" and "twat" at the end of every sentence.

Problem: She's a spoiled fucking brat.
Solution: We're going to start calling her "brat" to her face when she acts like one.

Problem: We have to tiptoe around her when we want to go out.
Solution: Screw that. Let her throw a fit when she's not invited to a bachelorette party and see if she hits anyone so she gets fired.

Problem: She snoops into our planners.
Solution: Add fake entries that are sure to piss her off like "Day at Six Flags WITHOUT SARAH!"

Problem: She's never here because she's off globetrotting.
Solution: There's a problem? She doesn't do any work and she's a pain in the ass.

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Bravo!
Submitted by Righteous on Thu, 05/18/2006 - 19:47.

I think you have a some excellent solutions there.

http://spaces.msn.com/members/CarlaPfeiffer/
Aka "chooch"

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Brilliant. Love the ideas.
Submitted by nihilist on Fri, 05/19/2006 - 02:51.

Brilliant. Love the ideas.

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Revenge is a dish best served cold
Submitted by PennyOnTheDollar on Fri, 05/19/2006 - 12:20.

I like the bit about putting stuff in the planners since she's a nosy cow. A bottle of douche? problem with that one is her running to the boss crying about it and having some bullshit full scale investigation. Kinda have to be careful, not that the cow is smart by no means- but you run the risk of her screaming 'victimization' In regard to her 'globetrotting' suggest highly volitile places to go in the future- 'you know Beirut is beautiful-I hear the exchange rates are brilliant-and guess what! I heard there's a LV outlet there!' Let me guess- a real mummy/daddy girl-four years fancy uni with crap degree-(but she still thinks she's IT)

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