fuck this job.com

made my way through the better part of a bottle of whiskey (shock and horror!) I have come to the conclusion that I may be losing my mind. I am still consumed by bitterness and unrelenting anger and rage and so must consider the inevitable possibility that maybe it is not JUST my job that is the problem. Yeah, I'm a fucking genius to have figured that out. I know... I know, but honestly, how many of us here don't have other mitigating circumstances? I think the job crap just compounds all the other bullshit that is bogging us down. Particularly since alot of it is financial for many of us, how can we NOT relate it back to the soul sucking jobs we have? The constant promise of financial rewards, the dangling carrot, the oppression, the stupid bouts of hopefulness that last about a day.
Man oh man there has just got to be a better way to survive.
Then theres the fear that the day I stop being incredibly angry is the day I might croak, maybe anger is an addiction?
Who the fuck knows, Im going to bed...mummmble...mummble..mummble zzzzzzzz

Escape is good! I lost my thread, sorry changedmyusername

What else is going on Bent? Are you clinically depressed?

Those mitigating things will just make us lose our minds. I know I keep coming back to the hurricane, but it was the most hellish 6 months of my life right after that. I didn't even have a pair of panties to my name, work was hell with the creepy-angry boss, and the bullshit with FEMA/Red Cross took hours to deal with every day. One day, no shit, I spent 5 hours on hold waiting for the Red Cross and then I had to go to work with the creep guy and it just killed me. I think that period in my life really did scar me emotionally. I even went to FEMA counseling and the counsellor fucking told me that there was basically nothing I could do. That "time would heal things" and that I would go through waves or cycles of depression/healing and that I was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and depression. Fucking, duh.

Well, basically my point is that I am still here and so are you. And work fucking sucks and you are probably truly depressed, like me ( I am still mildy depressed but have improved tremendously). The only things that help me are to just take it 5 minutes at a time and just cry or scream when I need to. And, I got a cat and a fish and they never ever ciritize me. This sounds so pathetic, but they are very therapeutic and healing for me. Sometimes, I come home from work and hold my cat and it makes me feel ok for 5 mintues.

Anyways, hope you get to have some rest and maybe even have some fun this weekend.

Because we're not intellectual half-wits and we see the crap that goes on around us, and we can figure out how things should be done, and we can see through the lack of integrity, and we're not numbed out to the injustice, we're very, very angry. Just reading posts here for a couple of weeks, it's easy to see what an articulate, high functioning bunch we are. Problem is, I think anyway, we just haven't figured out how to deal with our anger, cynicism, bitterness, or how to channel those strong emotions and we should do so soon, because in the end, we're only hurting ourselves not our doorknob bosses... or then again, I could just be full of shit and I should go "f" myself.

I am trying to learn how to deal with this stuff, and the other low-level admin at my work helping me out a bit. She's about 55 and been through some pretty bad stuff,too--single mom, yadda yadda. She has great advice and unlike with other people around here, I am starting to feel like she and I are on the same team.

I think the best thing for the anger and frustration is to just go to my best buddy and just shoot the shit, have a good old bitch fest. The last time we did this, we wound up laughing our heads off and having a great time. Very cathartic.

Unfortunately, lol , I am not the type of person that attract buddys.
So....I come here instead.
nuff said.

I have a plan...lets run away and join the circus!
I can fake my death (I've already planned it)
We can eat out of cans (mmmmm. Chefboyardee!) and life will be good.
When the change runs out, we can take odd jobs (really odd) and if that fails, I can do a pretty mean soft shoe ....that oughta be good for a bottle of Ripple.
Arrrrrrrrrrrr
shoot me

We could do a throwing knife routine except throw knives at the work place butt heads!!!!