fuck this job.com

Two Sackanut guards and somebody in a suit come to speak with Jennifer at nine o'clock. There has been a weird feeling in the air all morning. Jennifer hasn't been talking loudly about Simon--which is unusual. Usually she carries on loud conversations about him with other people, overlooking the fact that he can hear everything she says. Today, though, she hasn't said a word about him.

That is, until the three men from security show up. She almost gleefully escorts them to Simon's cube and they politely ask him to go with them. Simon goes with them, although he doesn't know why. Most of his assignments are mysterious in one way or another. They travel up one floor to the basement, where the Sackanut office is located. They escort Simon into a windowless room where two men show him their FBI identification. For two hours, Simon explains what he's been up to for the past two days.

"What were you doing in Dr. Chokem's office?"

"Sorting adding machine tapes."

"Why were you doing it there?"

"I don't know. I was told to dress in a suit and tie, and so I did. I was escorted by Heather to the 49th floor, and she gave the tapes and asked me to sort them."

"Weren't you there for a photo shoot?"

"A what?"

"Weren't you supposed to be modeling for a photo shoot for an advertising campaign? Isn't that why you were there?"

"First I've heard of it. I was wondering what I was doing there, but they don't usually tell me anything."

The FBI men question Simon about what he found in the drawer and he admits to opening the unlocked desk but forcefully asserts that he did not steal anything. The questioning continues. He tells them about being pepper sprayed and even about Patty and the little shop called "Special Things."

But he does no tell them about the pentagram. Something tells him not to say a word about it.

They leave Simon alone in the stark white room for several hours. Simon sees that a large mirror is on the wall opposite him. He knows that it isn't a mirror. It's a two-way mirror. Somebody is on the other side, watching him. It makes him nervous.

Time moves slowly. Simon tries to occupy his mind by thinking about his answers to their questions. He decides that he really should have asked to speak to a lawyer. He decides that the first thing he will do when they return is ask for an attorney. Yes, that's it.

But he just feels sleepier and sleepier. The more he tries to stay awake, the more the lack of sleep of the past few days begins to drag his head down to the table--for a nap. He feels his head drooping. Then drooping some more...

But something is moving in the room so he sits up, ready to ask for an attorney and to refuse to answer any more questions.

But he's not prepared for what he sees. Simon looks at it with unbelieving eyes. A seven-foot tall apparition wearing a monk's habit is sitting across from him. He feels a kind of stark, elemental terror. He wants to stand up and run but he's paralyzed. He wants to scream out but his voice is gone. The apparition looks straight at him. Inside the monkish cowl is the face of a skull.

Then Simon realizes that the thing across from him isn't sitting on the other side of the table. It's a reflection in the two-way mirror. It's HIS reflection. Simon looks down at his hands. It's hard to focus on them. He looks up again at the mirror. The image reflected in the mirror is plain--Simon is no longer a dumpy little fellow wearing a sports-shirt and some khaki pants. He's now, apparently, some kind of monster! And a devilish looking creature he is, too! The monk's habit barely conceals steel armor that covers him from neck to foot. Only the grinning skull head is unarmored. In the right hand of the apparition is a sword that gleams like chrome and is inscribed with the words "Ex Pretium." In its left hand is a shield, upon which is the word "Pecunius."

The image in the mirror speaks softly and with a voice like grinding gravel.

"I am Orlando de Balistica." Simon jumps a little inside. He recognizes the name. "Tell me, what was the name of your mother's father?"

Simon feels strangely calm. His mother's maiden name? Is this some kind of trick? Why would the FBI want that? He hears the words come out of his mouth.

"Balistica. My mother's maiden name was Frances Langley Balistica." The thing in the mirror nods.

"I am come to save you and the world--or kill it."

Simon can't even begin to understand what that is supposed to mean. Suddenly he feels an overwhelming need to sleep. His head drops to the table again.

On the other side of the mirror, the FBI and Sackanut people watch him.

"I dunno. I think he's a moron. Look at him. He's fast asleep. If this guy were mildly retarded, that would explain a lot. I don't think this guy knows a damn thing."

"Well, those two clowns from his department seemed to think he had something to do with Chokem's death."

"Yeah. Right."

"Let's spring him loose and get the girl in here and ask few questions. What's her name? Patty?"

Simon wakes up with a start and sees that the figure in the mirror is plain-old Simon once again. No armor. No nothing. Just khaki pants and a shirt with an alligator. When he gets back to his cube, Simon is amazed to find that everyone has gone for the day. He has spent the whole day in that room! For the first time, he thinks that maybe now would be a good time to tender his resignation. On his desk, he finds a note from Jennifer. Simon half expects it to be a letter terminating his employment. But, instead, it's an invitation to the company picnic. RSVP.

(TO BE CONTINUED)