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More from the Land of the Retarded

It's been awhile since I updated but its the same old game at work. Sarah the Retard takes off as much damn time as she wants and then harasses the rest of us when she's here. In the past few months those of us in the office have had to endure:

1. Her leaving to play tennis again. Its not so bad that she's gone but her babbling of "wish me good luck!" and "I'm going to be a tennis pro!" just gets old. Oh, and "wish me good luck" is Sarah-talk for "buy me some shit."

2. Her parents bought another house. We had to listen to her tell us in detail about her "new house" and how much fun her "second house" will be. She also asked us to "wish her good luck on her new house" and starting whining that she "needs new house presents." You're not getting shit from me, bitch.

3. More notes. Lots and lots of notes.

4. The proverbial straw: I caught her in my desk last week and when I opened the top drawer, the $5 bill that lives there for the coffee fund was gone. Now what the fuck do I do? Accuse the Protected Class of theft or ignore it? HR won't do shit because she's RETARDED.

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Hah...if it couldn't be traced back to you
Submitted by ookie on Sun, 10/22/2006 - 03:51.

I'd say put some fake bills (bad copies colored green or some crap like that) in the same spot and see how fast they disappear. It'd be all fun and games till she tried to use it.

Unforunately this would probably backfire on you and she'd be like, "Well Jessie gave them to me" and you'd be the one in trouble.
:(

Maybe you could try something non-illegal that would work just as well. Does she like candy? Exlax enhanced chocolate bars or cookies perhaps?

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Sarah the Retard
Submitted by The Razor on Mon, 10/23/2006 - 00:58.

I would stick a set mouse trap in your drawer to go off on her thieving tennis hand. She's retarded and won't see it.

Even in the goverment there is Fuckwad Supervisors, Bitch Bosses, and most of all lazy pieces of shit claiming to know everything!

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What a bitch...
Submitted by skazoo on Mon, 10/23/2006 - 15:32.

I'd poop in her shoes. Or leave a dollar by her desk with some poop on the bottom, so when she picks it up, she gets shitty hands.

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