fuck this job.com

Here's a memo my lovely bosses could send me when they're trying to come up with something to critize about me!

MEMORANDUM

TO: Our Valued Employee

FROM: Your 43 Benevolent and Caring Bosses

DATE: Today

SUBJECT: Your Complexion

It has come to our attention that last Thursday you came into work with what appeared to be an undisguised pimple on your chin.

As people who work in high-profile downtown law firms know, there are a number of over-the-counter and prescription remedies that will help both eliminate and disguise unsightly blemishes. As your bosses, may we remind you that you must take great care to ensure that your skin is smooth and flawless. We wouldn’t want anyone to get the false impression that we are anything else than 100% professional.

If you have difficulty discerning a blemish from, say, rosy cheeks, or need additional counseling concerning skincare, cosmetics, and blemish treatment, please contact any one of your 43 direct superiors at any time. We care about you and your skin, and want you to have the tools to comply with our request!

Thank you for your sharp attention to this matter and if you should have any questions, please feel free to contact us.