fuck this job.com

Three years ago, I was working for a man. A short man (4'5"), but one who left me alone and didn't care what I did, because he didn't know how to do his own job, much less mine. I was lured away by the promise of a management job at this place down the road. I have made numerous changes here, and I am proud of what I have done. But - this is only my second time having a female boss, and, although I am a woman myself, I don't know if I can take it!

The first thing that happened was two months after I took the job. We had an incident in which a contractor on site was making sexually harassing remarks to employees, so I asked him to leave. My boss CAME BACK FROM A VACATION OUT OF STATE TO SCREAM AT ME! First of all, I've been a supervisor for years, so I knew legally I had to remove the problem from the employees (e.g., ask the gentleman to leave). But, she was mad because she knew the contractor's brother, or something, and she came back and told me "You need to get your head out of your ass"; she told me that the people here "are not YOUR employees, but MINE" and she told me never to do anything again without checking with her first.

Screw that! I tendered my resignation and walked out. On my 40 minute ride home, she called me 5 times. I refused to answer. When I did answer, later that evening, she cried and asked me to stay. Oh, and then when I finally capitulated (for the money), she said, "I'm going to extend your probationary period for another month since you don't know what you're doing quite yet."

The lawyer then told her that I was totally correct in what I did, and not only that, as the only manager on premise, I had the absolute responsibility to remove any threat to the employees. The lawyer told me this after we had a sexual harassment seminar, but my boss has never said another word about this issue.

A few months down the road, one of my employees forgets to download a critical update to a program, and we miss a government payment. She SCREAMED at her. Then she SCREAMED at me. Then she SCREAMED at both of us. Again, I quit. When I said I quit, she got the deer in the headlight look, and started crying and saying how bad she felt and how she knows she is abusive, but could I just give her another chance? Please?

Finally I said I would, if I could talk to her supervisors (off site). I was allowed to do that, and told her boss that next time she says anything like those things she has said to me, I'm gone. There will be no two weeks notice, or friendly goodbyes. I'm just going to be gone.

Now, she doesn't yell anymore, but she makes snide comments. The HR person left, and she didn't hire anyone to take her place, saying that I could do it. Then the coordinators of two programs left, and she didn't hire anyone for those either, saying I could take those on. Last week, the person who does all the financial stuff for the organization left and she has decided not to replace her, either. And this morning when I found out the local newspaper had never received my ad, so had never run it, she said, "That's what you get for not following up!"

Who the hell has time to follow up when she is doing 5, count them, 5 full-time jobs because Mrs. Cheapo won't hire anyone?

I am making 2x as much as I made at my old job, and I don't want to go back. But what do I do? I can't change her, and I'll never get her to acknowledge that I'm important here - and not someone to be insulted day in and day out - without threatening to quit. I don't want to be the one who is always crying wolf! I want to work in peace and be left alone!