fuck this job.com

I threw away my calculator today.

To know why this is a big deal, you have to know that I have had this calculator for all of my 16 years at the company. I've taken it with me from department to department. Just a cheap solar calculator but it has served me well.

Yesterday I applied for a job outside the company. First time I have ever done that. So even if I don't get the job, I did something revolutionary (for me). And I celebrated that today by throwing away my calculator. I'll get a new calculator... something that represents my new outlook.

I am so ready to leave this place. Maybe I wasn't ready a year ago when I interviewed for a job within the company at a different department. Everyone says this is the bestest place to work in town but you know? It's not all that.

I am not sure if the place I applied to still has their position search open, but if they do, I feel confident about being called for an interview. The revelation was that I looked on their job opps website and what did I see, was MY CURRENT POSITION at my current company, perfectly and comprehensively described... with a proper TITLE for the position (unlike the vague, catch-all bullshit title I have now). Hopefully it pays as well.

Even if I don't get this job, now I know I can leave this company. The idea doesn't scare me any more. My department is dying, I'm sure everyone is developing their own escape plan, with the exception of one or two people who I suspect are clinging on with their fingernails.

I may be slow to get going... but I am never the last person out of the pool.