Soulsucking big boxes and a shit interview

Yesterday a trip to Lowes.. forgot my fucking phone numbers but wasn't going to go back again just to sit in a filthy ass corner of the store on a metal chair and out of the corner of my eye see shithead customers walking in the automatic doors- did the best I could with the fucking PA/Tannoy right over my fucking head and someone screaming "GARDENING LINE 1! LINE 1, GARDENING!" The best was the little sign plastered to the side of the desk that read: "If you use illegeal drugs, don't bother!" Was so tempted to take my pen and correct the spelling and write below it, "Don't bother either if you can spell simple words!" I really liked the inbred putting away trolleys/carts eyeing me up and down while I'm filling out my application and trying to talk to me and I read on his badge that he's a 'LEADER'. For fuck's sake, where am I? Is this what my life is becoming? Trying to land a shit job in a BIG BOX? Well, one of the agencies called me.. a sweet job working with doctors on a temp to perm thing- fuck it, money sounded good. But it's a fucking interview! not go in and just start working- woman who was there before arrested for drugs and it made the local papers so they want to replace her ASAP. Supposedly going to interview with the supervisor of the front desk and the administrator. The admin. looks for all purposes like a tightass throwback to the 1940s. The pressed doublebreasted suit, the round glasses- he also reminded me of a child snatcher from a kid's movie I once watched. (Anyone who knows this movie please tell me)but fuck it, who cares what he looks like-I'm here to ace this shit not fuck with unemployment (which is going to be a battle) and at least start working Monday morning. It's the usual shit- strengths, weaknesses, what makes me think kinda thing. Then we get into my last position and why I was terminated from the store-told my story- then it gets weird. The doctors are not nice people-you work for the doctors. The wives of the doctors are also doctors and they work here as well.. (So let me get this straight, both husbands and wives who are doctors here are self-centered assholes, right?) We deal with life and death here so detail is important.. (no shit?)
There are alot of different 'personalities' here..(So wait a minute, the whole fucking place is toxic?) There has been a problem with gossips.. (So everybody is badmouthing everybody else?) You'd meet with the supervisor of the front desk. (Oh, that's the woman I saw involved in a personal conversation, dressed well with nicely manicured nails who doesn't really look like she does fuck all except maybe push her weight around and make anyone she doesn't like suffer for it?) I deal with it all- but part me is saying to myself this should be all the 'red cards' I need to know that it's not for me, GET OUT NOW. No, when I'm asked if I have any questions, I said: 'Yes, when do I start?' I laughed then and said you can't blame a girl for trying- and he laughs and says 'nice try.' But he's got interviews all this week and if there's a decision it'll be done next week- (Oh, so let me guess- you like to play 'beauty contest' with the applicants.. narrow it down to 3- bring them back one at a time and then make the choice- if you don't choose one (especially the one from the agency which is going to cost you more money in the long run) then you can say 'it was close' but we went with so and so because..) I'm then told it's HIS decision who gets hired but he wants the supervisor to agree.. (Do I detect a power struggle here?) We finish off, I thank him and now he wants me to meet with the supervisor. I'm waved off and I hear her say "No". What a fucking waste of time and I can't believe that I'm so fucking hard up for work that I'm pissed off with the whole thing! So today it's off to fucking WalMart(Another Soulsucking BIG BOX )to sit on another metal chair though this time it's near the toilets, and a morning filling out UI shit and getting it postmarked before the fucking 30th. Thanks shitheads for sending so fucking late!


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Submitted by wageslaveZ on Thu, 04/26/2007 - 21:55.

Sounds like you need a medical billing and coding certificate or something. At least you'll be able to make demands when trying to get into those doctor's offices you won't hate. I think all you need are a couple of billing and coding classes at a career college or community college to get the certificate. I looked up the pay scales, a certified coder can break 32K/yr, not bad for a fuck-all, non-degreed job right? Yes, I notice those fat schlub women and old Crypt-Keeper types at those offices can't shut the fuck up when they're not shoving paperwork down patients' throats and keeping people on hold all day while typing pea-brained data into outdated computers... If all else fails, you can get unenjoyment to actually pay into a CDL license from a local trucking school, then you can make a decent living ~35-40K/yr doing local or OTR trucking and not sitting in the same shithole job day after day. Well, I tried. Keep it evil...

Submitted by MrPlankton  on Fri, 04/27/2007 - 20:17.

Lowes in the last few months has turned into a hot steaming cow pie. Wait forever at cashier, get mad as heck. I even know the codes now. Code 3 means you will be waiting a long time. Code 50 means no one is going to help you load your 200 pound appliance. I guess it's good in a way. I started going to our local small hardware store. Probably should have never left.

Hope you get your doc office job.

MrPlankton

Submitted by PennyOnTheDollar on Sat, 04/28/2007 - 00:30.

If I get my hands on the famous Crabbypatty recipe I'll pass it on.. Lowe's is expanding in my area. I spent over an hour today in a cold room filling out tons of bullshit paperwork (am I nuts and going to drop some LSD before work kinda questions..) sad I've become that fucking desperate and will take the seasonal shit and hopefully pass the next 2 interviews.. I doubt I've got the drs gig.. Feh!

Submitted by Xstate on Wed, 05/02/2007 - 19:39.

DOn't you just love those questionaires the big box companies make you fill out? I just love the questions:

Do you smoke or use drugs? (NO)

Are you pregnant? (NO WAY JOSE)

Are you 18 or older? (NO I AM 4 1/2 YEARS OLD)

Do you have reliable transportation to work? (YES A HARRIER JET)

Are you a queer er..gay? (NO ARE YOU?)

What is your ethnicity? (WHITE AND NATIVE AMERICAN)

How much compensation do you expect to make? ($1,000,000 USD/hour)

Have you ever been convicted of a crime? (NO UNLESS ITS LOOKING AT YOUR BIG BUTT)

Please describe your greatess strengths: (I AM YOUR EVIL MISTRESSS)

Please describe your greatess weaknesses: (I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH AUTHORITY)

If hired, can you prove your US citizenship and eligibility for work? (WHAT DO YOU THINK, I JUMPED OVER HERE FROM MEXICO? UNLESS YOU THINK I'M A CANADIAN)

Dumm dee dumb dumb

Submitted by DevilWoman79 on Tue, 10/30/2007 - 07:19.

Mr. Plankton you are so right about the code 3 and the code 50, that's so true, and so funny.
I spent just shy of five years working for that soul sucking company. I will say, I did love my job, and I did truely enjoy the work that I did. Just wish I could have done it for a better company instead of putting my drive into a company that isn't as "family friendly" as they appear to be. You go in everyday with a smile on your face and before you are to your locker and clocked in you have no less than four memebers of Senior Staff on your tail wanting two things done ten different ways. Oh, but don't forget to downstock, do your inventory replenishment worksheets, order, price audit, follow up on install customers, and cover four to five departments cause there is no coverage. Can you also work 16 hours today and neglect you 6 month old son, because we can't staff your department? By the way can you re-set those two aisles of ceramic tile because the out-side reset crew did it wrong. Oh and crap the appliances aren't coming in because you aren't allowed to order them cause the corporate office has them all blocked, but can you explain why you're not making budget. Then go through the "Management Training Program" so you can have more shit to do and less time to do it, plus run the store cause the store manager can't show up cause her fuckin BMW needs washing. This associate didn't follow up on this customer... can you sell the install for it? Why? Cause you're the only person in the store who knows how, even though it's not your department. Go ahead and take the commission on it too. Oh also there's only two cashiers for the next 10 hours cause 5 called in sick and others had scheduling problems, much like the rest of the store. 12 call outs today! Oh remember that install you sold a couple lines up? By the way you're fired for it even though I told you to do it.

FUCK THAT SHIT!!! FUCK LOWES!!!

Submitted by PennyOnTheDollar on Thu, 01/03/2008 - 15:45.

OMG-why do I even bother to blog? All of it is true- but you forgot to add the managers in training from McDonald's rejects who come through the door and do just enough to make it to "Team Leader" or "Zone Manager" and then perfect the 'pass the buck' routine. Don't forget all the bullshit computer training you've taken-but when you get into the job there's no fucking MENTORING to help you really succeed! Hey, yer on about cashiers? Let's see.. there's a frigging pep talk every morning but are the cashiers included? NAH. Nor are the cashiers that do bother to show up every day told about any changes in the shift until the very last moment-then it's the job of running up and down the front end because you've had the training but you're not a headcashier-headcashiers get to stand around and watch the door and the other cashiers but really doesn't have to do any real work except collect the FOs and that's easy shit. Let's talk about getting managers to approve shit and then it's a pain in the ass for them to mark the paper with their initials because they do realize they are cutting corners for time/money whatever and if the deal bounces back (ie: the bit about the install) it's your ass on the line and they still have a job where they can still be incompentant and lazy. Let's not forget if you ask for approval of too many things by management you're told that you can't handle your job and they have to rethink your employment-but that's a good thing because if the store's understaffed and you're the most reliable (read: reliable/SUCKER)you will always have a place doing a shit job that some lazyass didn't want to do. Don't forget the little cliques in the breakroom-and your food being thrown out on Friday though you just put it in the fridge on Thursday-and that was going to feed you for the weekend when you worked your 6th weekend in a row-now you either have to live off of crackers and cheese for the next week or rob your own laundry money to throw into the expensive snack machines because your last check went to paying your bills off and since yer full time you really don't get paid enough to live well. Don't forget how your shifts were usually either early or late because again there was a lazyass who is so good at asslicking they got to choose when they wanted to work, or they were part time, or they also got state aid so it didn't really matter. Let me guess as well that you gave them 5 years because where you live the salaries suck ass and so does the insurance and perhaps it was the insurance that kept you going.. I know it does me, though everyday that I have to smile through all the bullshit I'm grinding my teeth down so bad that if I do make five full years with them I'll prolly look like I have meth mouth!

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