fuck this job.com

I'm not sure if rants are like revenge - best served cold.

From waaaay past boiling point, the temperature of my blood is now probably bringing down my Blood pressure. I am as calm and as collected as I will be in this firm.

This is my first post, and I would like to introduce you to the players in my recurring nightmare:

"The BOSS" - Educated at one of the finest ivy league institutions in the US, and so the world. An absolute asshole of boss though, and my joining fresh out of university is proving to be one mistake I may never recover from.

He has a large collection of books on important and diverse things such as fractal mathematics, financial engineering and microchip fabrication. More so than most public libraries in fact. However, he also asks me (someone whose grasp of computers is limited to personal interests and what I learned in high school equivalent computer science) to hook up a computer system he bought on the cheap (what a rip off). Turns out, this is usually done by 4 qualified technicians, over the course of a week, and would require CABLING to be done. Reasonable request? I don't think so.

Like a roving reporter, I tried uincovering the inefficiencies in this organisation and began to reccommend a series of changes, one of which was to create or purchase (cheaper to create our own barebones one) software to do our simple accounting needs and to format the information in different ways. Beats the hell out of a few people entering the data a few times to get the same info in a different report, no? His response: Create one. He gave me a couple of excel and access books to boot. Lovely. I did however link some spreadsheets between the 3 of us so we can save time. I'm no fucking magician. I joined this firm because of him and now he's fallen from his pedestal and fucking me in the process. I had never imagined such positions could be conceived by someone in free and open society.

My department colleagues:

"The MANAGER" - We don't have one in our department, and although the most senior and so most highly paid amongst the peons, his self declared but de facto title is more to prop up his own ego than to give him more responsibility. He is also permanently discussing property deals on his mobile phone, and telling everyone about them. All well and good, except for the fact that we as a company don't have anything to do with property, and matter of factly, BOSS and MANAGER aside, we can't afford any.

He also tries to show off in front of us. Doesn't do anything for me, mind you. I know I'm smarter than him. The simple things elude this guy. People say I am a good listener, and I genuinely don't mind listening to someone rant or sparing what limited time I have to give my insight (if any) on a problem they may be having. If I hear this bastard go on about property for much longer, especially if I am concentrating making spreadsheets on our fucked up system, I will bludgeon him to the brink of death, resuscitate him, and start over.

"The BABY" - This is more than just a pseudonym for our boy here. Before joining this company, I thought it would be a good idea for people that could afford it, to have children. Now I feel that adults need to be forced to undergo thorough, in-depth tests certifying that they have IQ's and EQ's sufficient enough to demonstrate they have matured enough mentally and emotionally to raise kids with even a glimmer of HOPE.

He works slightly different hours than the rest of our "TEAM", meaning he comes in early so that reports are underway when we arrive, allowing the production line that is this company to roll non stop.
As he leaves 'early' meaning earlier than us, but still hours approaching insanity, he crawls on all fours to the door frame of our boss, knocks lightly on the woodwork, and with eyes downcast, in a soft tone mentions that he is leaving. When the boss replies, he has to check his shorts. This is a DAILY occurrence. He also shits his pants about everything, and is surprised, no amazed, that I can be one cocky bastard when someone unjustly says something to me. Not to blow my own horn, but this happens more often than not in these God forsaken halls. That's not a good thing.

In his defense, I may be a bit harsh, but he is a nice guy that needs to realise he's no doormat, and the last thing one should do is lie down and ask if he's comfortable to walk on. Repeatedly.

"The NICE GUY" - He really is. I like him, and the only thing I shall say about him is that because he did not recieve his degree in the field we are in, he lacks the self confidence he deserves to have.

More to come. The floodgates of my hell have been opened and I am scared to even conjecture what this will cause to come out.