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This is why I don't own weapons

A rat broke loose through a hole in a wall this morning (within my room)and started running around my room while I screamed and jumped on top of my desk (very impressive- I believe that my ass developed springs as I have no recollection of using my feet).

The big guy ran out into the hall

I called the main office and told them that they could forget the traps for the mice and that someone needed to bring a shotgun to my room-

The janitor showed up and asked me if I was sure that it wasn't a mouse and it would have helped if I had tried to catch the large sized rat (which, in China, could have had 4 wheels shoved on it with a horn and bumper and qualified as a family car)

Hmmm...

Do you ever have those moments of stupidity when a fellow human being says something so ridiculous that a vortex is created that stops time- you hate the moment but almost relish the inane qualities of it...?

He left, telling me that I should try to catch the rat next time and he would dispose of it-

As I sat down and stared at my sparse summr school classroom, I had a McGuyver moment and thought about the materials around me and how exactly I would put them together to stun the rat-
Objects that are bigger than the rat and could be used to stun it:
1. A student's desk
2. My desk
3. The wall phone
4. My skirt
5. Chairs
6. Blackboard
7. One slightly torn encyclopedia
8. A globe
Possibilites-
1. Rat appears- quickly use phone to dial mother in law- high pitched nasal voice could stun it- then I could knock it out with the receiver
2. Rip off skirt-reenact the "running of the bulls" until janitor comes
3. Toss heavy objects at it
4. Bowl my globe
5. Rip blackboard off of the wall and try to beat it to death
The janitor returned with a small glue trap-hmmm...8 inch rat- 2 inch glue trap..
great

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Had one like that once...
Submitted by Rakkasan101st on Thu, 07/19/2007 - 23:15.

I was in the Army at FT Hood down in Texas... we started having the winter show up, and that meant the rats n mice and critters started coming into the offices and buldings to get out of the cold.... our office had the Sugar raided a few times, and a whole box of Cheerios got ripped open and devoured. My boss put me on point to nab up and trap Mickey and his cousins.

Man... How was I suppsed to know it was Mickey on Steriods?

I laid out one of them glue traps... sheet of paper like 6 inches by 12 inches and sticky as a motherfucker... laid it out near the sugar and food and stuff on a Friday afternoon... I figured by monday it'd be all done and game over.

Come Monday morning, the trap was missing...
I asked everone in the office if they had already grabbed it up or what... no one had. Quite the mystery... until later.

We found what looked like is best described as a "fur toupee" in the corner... WHATEVER the hell it was had gotten the glue trap stuck to it, not it stucck to the trap, and when 'whatever' it was crawled under the door to make good it's escape, it peeled off the trap under the door... sort of scrapped off the whole thing.... fur and all. I mean a LOT of fur... as in this thing hadda be the size of a big cat, never mind mouse/rat sized...

For months later the mechanics would occasionally report a huge rat with giant blad spot on it... go figure right?

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