fuck this job.com

This will probably be my last entry on this site (not that I was a particularly habitual poster, but I've written my share of rants over the past couple of years). It's not that I'm pussing out, but rather that something truly extraordinary has happened to me... I broke free.

My former job was shit in every sense of the word. I busted my ass 6 days a week, had more than 20 people who thought they were my boss, and made less than half of the market value of one of the three jobs I did. None of the preceding is hyperbole, but rather mathematical fact. My boss was a dundering moron in ways too extreme for me to even articulate -- he lacks the slightest shred of management skill, intelligence, wit, good humor or even a single redeeming quality. He fucks everyone he meets up the ass without lubricant all the while making jokes about how rich and successful he is. He's a fucking caricature... Ebeniezer Scrooge would find him tacky for fuck's sake. And that doesn't even describe the motley crew of clowns he calls his partners.

I left. I didn't quit, I didn't resign, I didn't "talk things out" or do anything the right way, I just fucking got so tired of it one day that I just stopped going to work. That day I got on a plane and flew down to a resort in the tropics, where I spent two weeks laying around doing nothing, completely ignoring my cell-phone and not checking my E-mail. The night before I left I hopped on my laptop long enough to E-mail the owner of the company and say (this is verbatim), "It's been swell, but the swelling's gone now. I'm done."

Mind you, I wasn't a mere grunt. I was the IT Manager. To say I was integral to this company is an understatement par excellence. He called, he threatened, he cajoled, he negotiated, and eventually he even begged. Then he had his VP call, and repeat all the preceding actions. I was like ice. It was the situation you fantasize about when you imagine yourself quitting your job, to a T.

Now, I was in a strange state here. I had some small savings, but nothing really worth talking about (especially after the vacation). No plans, and hell my resume wasn't even up to date. But somehow, I couldn't bring myself to care. I took out a map, looked around, and decided I would like to live on the West Coast. The week before I left, the entire company went down (phones, internet... everything). My boss called. I ignored him. The VP called and I didn't even answer the phone. Finally, a good friend of mine called. She's the Dir. of Ops downstairs, and the only decent human being who works for this assmaggot. She was almost in tears because her organization had been down for hours, everything was going to hell, the boss was yelling at her, and his $95/hour consultant couldn't even figure out what was wrong.

I went in in lacrosse shorts and a T-shirt, walked past the stunned receptionist and rows of tittering office-trolls, went into the server room, unplugged a cable, plugged another one in, rebooted a firewall, had a cigarette with my friend and left, the problem fixed. That's what you lost, motherfucker. I hope it burns like my ass does after four years of being fucked by you.

So, with rapidly dwindling capital, no real plan and a strange, Hunter S. Thompsonesque state of mind, I packed up my car and drove across the country.

It's been three weeks since then, and I already have a new job (this city is AMAZING for technical talent). It is the job of my dreams, the job I always knew existed but never thought I'd actually get. It's a small software company, where the engineers (that's me) have no dress code, and are basically free to do whatever. I don't even have a phone... I just sit at my desk, overlooking the mountains and write code. My boss (the owner of the company) wears sandals and bangs out code himself while listening to alternative rock on his headphones. Everyone is a musician, so we all have something common to talk about, and -- oh yeah, I make 70k a year and have 4 weeks of vacation and stock options (which, despite this economy being nothing compared to where I used to live, is 20k more than I made after 4 years with my old boss).

So my point is that there is hope... Work does not have to suck. You can get paid to do something you love, and the miserable fucking pieces of shit ya'll work for do not own you. The truth is, THEY need US, not the other way around. This bastard, who did nothing but lord his own superiority over me for 4 years, was practically weeping and pissing himself begging me to come back.

Nothing could feel better than saying no.

Endure, and in enduring grow stronger. One day, your day will come, I promise.

Salute, and goodbye.

~Mike