fuck this job.com

Sometimes things get a little out of focus and I have to stop and wonder why the hell I stay in the casino business. Last night I realized probably one of the best reasons I stay in it.

I was walking through one of the dealer break rooms with a load of papers in my hand, reading, busy as hell, as usual, and wouldn't ya know it? I looked up from my papers for a moment to catch a glimpse of this girl who was lying across one of the sofas. She was hired to play Ms. Claus at the casino. She works with Santa passing out free goodies and playing games with the customers. Now, Ms. Claus is not the plump old lady people always make her out to be in the storybooks. Hell, no. Ms. Claus is wearing her stocking cap and is covered with tinsel. She is 5'7", slender, brunette, long-legged, all her body parts come in perfect proportions and she is drop dead good lookin'. As I passed by her sofa I had to stop and say, "Shall I go grab my camera?"
"Excuse me?"
"Shall I go grab my camera and get a picture of you like this? I think we'd be rich, Sister - you would make one helluva post card." She laughed and winked at me and I walked on.

What is it about these wonderful creatures they call "women" that can make a guy stop whatever it is he is doing and start to drool all over himself? One good lookin' girl walks through the room and everything stops. I walk into the joint to start work and the first thing I do is look for the sight of a gorgeous girl. It makes my day and gets me started in the right direction every time.

Of course, I am guilty of having had a few little affairs and one night stands working in this business. After all, how can a guy resist? But I keep my affairs clean, I keep them to myself, I don't hound anyone who's not interested in me and I sure as hell don't go around boasting about the women I have been with.

Either most men are completely full of shit or women simply have a devastating effect on them and they can't control themselves because of it. I wonder what would happen if all the men would just start telling the truth. No, the cocktail server girl wasn't rubbing up against you because she wanted to make a pass at you - rather you were blocking the doorway and she was tired of asking you to get out of the way while you weren't listening to her with your back turned. No, that dancer wasn't touching your chin with her fingertips because she was flirting with you - rather she was trying to lift your head because you were staring at her breasts for the entire conversation.

Good looking women should be banned from the workplace. I have to wonder how much insurance companies have paid out due to the fact that some schmuck who was eyeballing a girl failed to watch where he was going and walked face first into the sharp edge of an open door, fell down a flight of concrete steps or ran into someone and knocked them both on their ass. The payouts must be in the billions by now.

On second thought, good looking women should not be banned from the workplace. They are pretty much the only good reason I have to show up for work anymore.

Little Nicky