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Holy shit they made me manager!

Here is the one thing I promised myself when I got the promotion a few months back.

- I will NOT under any circumstances act so shitty that my employees will log into Fuckthisjob.com and post about what a dick weed I am.

So I was promoted from my role as helpdesk lackey to help desk manager. I wasn't asked if I wanted the job, I was basically called into the dept. head's office and told I was being promoted. I thought, "Hey, that's cool at least I'll make some more money." WRONG! The job doesn't come with a pay increase for six months! Well whatever, it's not to much more responsibility and I get to spend less time on the phones which is a huge perk (anybody in help desk/tech support/customer service will agree).

My main fear was that I was going to turn into every other soulless asswipe I have ever worked for. I am proud to say I haven't changed a bit.

My subordinates fucking love me. I manage six people and they all tell me all the time that I am the best boss they ever had. All I ask is two simple things: Complete you work, and call out if you're not coming in. There is no need to feed me bullshit excuses if you're going to miss work. Don't make up some stupid story that's embarrassing for you tell and me to listen to. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. The best excuse I have gotten so far was: "Sorry, I didn't come in, I met this cutie at the bar and took her home and fucked her in the shower till the wee hours of the morning." Now, THAT is an excuse. I gave that dude a high five when he came back in!

Like I said, follow the two simple rules and life will be grand. If you're not on a phone call and your work is completed by all means watch porn, surf the web, bring in your laptop and play WoW (which they ALL do except for me, I'm quit a while ago).

I had one guy who was pissed he wasn't getting more hours and he threatened to quit. We all laughed in his face so hard! I explained that

1) He can play video games here
2) I let him take a free lunch even though he only works 5 hours a day.
3) I have never reprimanded him for being forever late and calling out too many days to count.
4) I let him dress however he wants (which is a big deal for a hipster)
5) OTHER PLACES EXPECT RESULTS!

He shut up in a hurry after I pointed those things out!

In closing, do not fret. Not every boss is a complete asshole. Maybe one day you can come work for me!

Oh yeah... weed breaks... Need I say more?

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dude...
Submitted by Bent II on Wed, 07/16/2008 - 01:35.

I salute you in your success so far.

I hope it is a permanent arrangement. My experience has been that having integrity, working from the bottom up and remembering all the indignities that were unleashed on me, swearing never to make another human being suffer those senseless power tripping games, has not succeeded in making me an effective manager.

In fact, despite all my efforts to hold on to my integrity and my in bred loyalty to the idea of fairness and equality and not shitting on the heads of those who grind the gears, I am still failing.

I may have taken this too far as I have been shit on, basically. But the valuable lesson I have learned is that those that deserve your respect and your trust will never shit on your head. And those that have you all figured out as a person who has been on both sides of the fence will play the shit out of you. Endlessly and mercilessly and ultimately will sacrafice and betray you as they can only see someone like this as a loser to be played.

You don't seem the type who would fall for any of this. So I commend you and wish you the best. I, on the other hand fell into that trap and am still struggling in the quagmire I have created for myself. Unwittingly.

I question myself daily......do I even want to work where I am anymore, or just give notice and fuck off to the wild blue yonder. I have equity in my home, for now, because the recession hasn't affected my housing market yet. I long for freedom and even a brief respite from the petty, vulture picking mentality I work in. Call me weak.

The grass always looks greener. I guess it never really is, unless you have a little killer instinct to begin with, to temper the fairness so you don't get bent over.

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