fuck this job.com

OMG--I have many jobs. I'm only suppose to have one, but the owners (a married couple) keep adding more jobs to what I already have. They also have a bad habit of pulling me off my work so I can do projects for them and these are always priority.

So, last week, once again I am pulled from my own job to do a special job for one of the owners. It doesn't matter that I was in the middle of something else. Then later on they asked why the tasked I was pulled off of was finished late. I told them because I was told to do something else. So of course we had this stupid meeting about why I can't get my work done.

Well, if you've been following my daytime drama--I was waiting for an offer letter like a cat waits for a fish to jump out of its bowl...

Wait for it, wait for it...

I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One small success, and I couldn't have done it without venting on this site! I will be giving my 2 weeks notice tomorrow--better than Christmas, my birthday, the 4th of July, and New Year's Eve all wrapped in one!

Thank you FTHISJOB!!!

My position is being "dissolved." I have a month left here, and I am basically laid off. In fact, they've already hired my replacement, who starts this Monday... my office isn't even cold yet... I have to train someone, that's right, TRAIN them, but I haven't been asked to apply to the position, they are just separating themselves from me. The best they could do was offer a severance 'package,' that isn't really a package at all. I get paid as long as I still work, and my benefits will continue till the end of the month.

...

While I was being accosted by this news this morning, I didn't know that I was simultaneously receiving a call about that job offer I was waiting for. I called back, got voicemail, and I'm waiting for the return call. The voicemail left for me was by the excited HR gal, who was "eager to talk to me." By the sound of her voice, she was smiling, and I think it's because she is ready to pass along an offer to me!

Woop-de-fucking-do... I'm back in hell. Actually, hell is probably more predictable and manageable at this point. I think I am in the shithole trailer park down the street from hell...

This company is seriously held together with hopes, dreams and paper clips. Everyone's attitudes suck, mine included, and it's got to be because we all know that we are dancing our way down a gangplank that is hovering over the pit of despair! At least all of the office staff is like this because we don't make shit. Packets of sugar make more money than we do. Meanwhile the human paper weight we call our 'President' clears about $10K a month, and he's been telling everyone that he's taken a pay cut to keep the business afloat. WTF? I'd like to know what he was making before he took the pay cut!

When it comes to mind-numbing work, being a waitress takes the cake--it's relatively simple, just hard on the feet and psyche (at times when you get a shithead for a customer). Working in marketing, however, is bad for the soul. Or maybe, working for MY employer is just bad.

I have been scouring want-ads for a new job of any kind nowadays. I have tried to stay within my field with no luck. I'm seriously considering going back to waitressing at an upscale restaurant. I am giving up hope of finding another job otherwise.

I got so excited at the last potentially-going-to-hire-me series of interviews that I almost made myself physically ill. I was across the board emotionally--super excited, then scared, then depressed to tears, then basically suicidal--just waiting for them to utter a yes or no. All I got was a few emails apologizing for the delayed response, all the while stringing me along by saying they are still interested... Meanwhile I'm going friggen nuts thinking I can give my 2 weeks notice to the assholes I work for any day now. The only thing I could tell myself to wrap my head around it all was that I was glad to be employed somewhere, at least.

I have a brain, face, arms, legs... so what makes you better than me? What? You have a bigger paycheck? Is that all? No, I'm not jealous--I just know that the truth is, you're undeserving of your pay, whereas I do twice the work I should for measly pay.

The mud-slinging and fake rapport that goes on here is sickening. Two weeks ago, they wanted to can me, now they're asking me how my weekend was... I grit my teeth, put on my 'I'm at work with a bunch of bullshit fakers so I better pretend to smile' face and act like I give a shit. I'm far from spoiled, but definitely borderline disgruntled. I appreciate all that I have, but the human psyche can only take so much. I am particularly disgusted by the flippant attitude of the office staff here, and the strange loyalty and allegiance by the growing number of board members.

I really thought I had seen the worse of things at my job--I thought I could just fade into the background and eventually fade out of this company, but I was very wrong.

My personal friend and coworker just figuratively shanked me on the job, and got my supervisor on board with her. They both attacked me about a minimal issue not worth spending time on, and accused me of painting our company in a bad light. It's not worth explaining the details, just trust me when I say, the non-situation was blown out of proportion by my coworker who is trying to look like an angel to the president because she now holds stock in the company. All of those details were revealed bit by bit and indirectly, but I know how to piece together a jigsaw puzzle you motherfuckers. Just more proof that I have been completely underestimated and corporately abused.

I just cannot seem to make myself actually get work done here. As soon as I get some forward momentum, I have my boss, stupid jelly bean of a man, breathing down my neck about some time-wasting details. I need space for fuck's sake! Stop wasting my time with your useless crap.

How am I supposed to keep coming back here? I seriously cannot stand it. My boss is incredibly anal, and I think he has ADHD, plus, he doesn't care if he's wasting your goddamn time. He just doesn't seem to notice me checking my watch when he starts talking about his kids, or his weekend. Newsflash--I don't care! I don't care to share with you what I did this weekend either! No, we're not a work-family! We are nothing at all. You barely pay me, and I pretend to like you, everyone here, and the work I'm doing. Fuck off!

Seriously, why the fuck do you complain that the meetings you set are never attended when you don't enforce them?

"Dilbert," my fucking nerdy jelly bean of a supervisor kept bringing up the fact that people were not attending the regular meetings he was setting. So he sets one for us today, for a specific time, and stresses how he wants attendance at the meeting--well, where the fuck is he? Chatting it up with the Prez, taking his sweet fucking time, leaving me nervous and ready to drop what I'm doing to run into a meeting with him where I'm sure I'll be chided about productivity...

Just another bit of proof that this company is a piece of shit and almost all the higher-ups have their heads stuck up their asses. I'm writing this to let off some steam about the fact that I am not in this goddamn 'important' meeting right now, like he wanted us to be.

Cold-hearted, God-awful, wretched jerks... and these are the people I have to work with everyday, but no one believes me. Well, newsflash people--remember that the wolf paraded around the flock in sheep's clothing and no one knew until it was too late. The guys I work with seem ok--they're all educated, generally nice guys, most with families--but do they give a shit about anything but themselves? NO! Allow me to provide an example.

I just asked the president of our company to donate money to a worthy cause (disabled children) for two reasons: 1. philanthropy, and 2. easy PR for the company. The answer I got was, "Well, unless there is a direct monetary benefit for us, then I don't see why we would just give money away. Now, if you're talking about some sort of public relations, then I need to see a plan outlined before we donate anything." I was speechless. I swear to God, I cannot ask for anything, for any fucking reason without being worn out on reasons why it should not be done (whatever IT is). I feel so bad for these kids, who are asking for a small amount of $$ for equipment (I mean a really small amount compared to our revenue and the fucking nice car the prez drives... but it's not MY money, so WHATEVER). The point is, this shouldn't have been a problem, and I should've received an answer like, "Well, if you feel like this is a worthy cause, then I'll agree..." which is something I deserve to hear after slaving away for 3 years in this bass-ackwards company!!

Right now, I can hear the president and my supervisor whispering about me in the next office. They have to whisper because I share a wall with my supervisor's office and he knows that sound travels well. I think they are contemplating how to fill my role with someone else who will ask for less money.

I think this is happening because I clearly cannot hide the fact that I am dissatisfied with this job anymore. I notice that I have a sharp edge to my communication, and my supervisor has been backing down from our conversations to spare an argument. But FUCK IT ALREADY. I cannot believe I haven't found a job in 2 of the 3 years I've been working here, and I am just totally drained on this job. I want so badly to barge in on their whisper fest and calmly say, "Hello gentlemen, I wanted to let you both know that I am officially giving my two-weeks notice today." I wish I could follow it up by saying that their competitor hired me or some big name silicon valley fortune 500 company snapped me up for twice what they're paying me now...

In another life, I must have really pissed someone off to deserve this slow, gut wrenching decline in my satisfaction with life.
Yep, still interviewing like it's my part-time job, and trying to maintain enthusiasm which is rapidly waning. Still putting up with all of my responsibilities and the trying-to-take-hold-of-things boss that I have. Surrounded by employees that are quitting left and right. I'm trying not to lose it by doubling my meds (anti-depressants).
Guess I am just part of some huge cosmic joke--let's play a prank on this chick who has scraped up from nothingness to acquire an education that she can barely afford to pay back, give her a job that doesn't value what she does, throw a bunch of non-related responsibilities at her, then give her shit for not getting everything done--ooo, then we can tell her she's lucky to be employed at all!

I don't have any energy left for anger. It's hard to hide the tears while I'm here in hell writing this. I feel like hugging the toilet and spilling my lunch, but instead I have work to do.

Today, I discussed the written content for a huge project I've been working on for a while with my supervisor. His response was lackluster. I should have expected this--every time I turn something in for review, I basically have to start over from scratch. There's never a time where what I've done is accepted--which makes it seem like everything I do is crap--which is far from the truth. I am a humble being, but I know my job and I have high standards for my work. So when I spend a lot of time doing something and it is met with 2 minutes of shallow criticism, I find myself close to going ballistic.

I'm tired of the charade. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of acting like I'm happy. I'm tired of sticking with this company for 3 years just to have them slap me in the face.

I waited a year and a half for a raise. I make well below market value for someone with my experience and education--I know it, and they know it. Which is why they refuse to give me any more than a 3% raise--wow I get a whopping $29 more dollars every paycheck. That oughtta pay off those school loans...

Ok, so some background--small company, doesn't matter what they do, with 1 CEO, 1 Salesperson, 1 office manager, 1 marketing person (that's me), and the rest of the employees are billable. The CEO used to have a co-founder who hired me, but he left over a year ago. The 2 co-founders started this company without a goddamn clue as to how to run it, and when things fell apart, they called in a business consultant to help them get it together. Then came a massive and painful restructuring of the company, with the gumshoe CEO joining every executive forum he could find to help him learn how to do his job. I get a new boss--the salesperson--who is, granted, better than the co-founder who hired me, but has his own issues. For example, my boss is a total doormat, anxiety-ridden, long-winded, micro-management nightmare, but he's a pretty nice, likable guy, so I've lost the battle before I even begin to fight. It would be unfair of me to be mean to him.

I swear I am just going to record my answers to the same goddamn interview questions and just send cd's to prospective employers rather than interviewing with them.

I am becoming jaded, yes. I have interviewed for 2 years to replace this shit job I have and what do I have to show for it? Well, I am basically going to add "professional interviewer" to my fucking resume. I haven't gotten the salary offer or even an offer at all for all of my effort.

And honestly, if I tell you what 3 adjectives I think best describe me, how the fuck is that going to help you decide whether or not to offer me a job? OK, here it goes--I'm bitchy, irritated, and tired. Are those good enough adjectives for you? Can we stop the fucking charade already? You need someone with skill, and I have that skill, so fucking hire me so I can quit this miserable job already!